The Q at Parkside

(for those for whom the Parkside Q is their hometrain)

News and Nonsense from the Brooklyn neighborhood of Lefferts and environs, or more specifically a neighborhood once known as Melrose Park. Sometimes called Lefferts Gardens. Or Prospect-Lefferts Gardens. Or PLG. Or North Flatbush. Or Caledonia (west of Ocean). Or West Pigtown. Across From Park Slope. Under Crown Heights. Near Drummer's Grove. The Side of the Park With the McDonalds. Jackie Robinson Town. Home of Lefferts Manor. West Wingate. Near Kings County Hospital. Or if you're coming from the airport in taxi, maybe just Flatbush is best.

Saturday, October 17, 2020

On the Edge of the Precipice of the Turning Point

History takes the long view. The present, of course, is merely experience. But humans are notoriously unable to comprehend short-term past and future. Analysis is for the birds, typically inaccurate, full of contradictions, but profitable for consultants and pundits and insider traders. That is to say, most of what the Q has to say should be taken with a pillar of salt. Cuz I'm not even a PROFESSIONAL consultant or pundit. I get paid in late-night refrigerator raids.

We, dear frenemies and enemends, are living through a year that will be studied for centuries - if there is anyone left to study such things. The problems of American society have become open sores. Was a day one could sweep it all under the petroleum-based Astroturf, were you so inclined and even modestly well-off. Before I describe what I'm seeing in our beloved 'Bush itself, let me just restate the case that the whole course of modern America took a perilous turn in fall of 2000. Most young'uns can't remember the anxiety of that moment, not knowing whether a climate-woke genteel southern upper crust white man compromiser with a stiff professor-manner or a congenial dumb-ass white man with faux Texan bonafides would win the White House. At the time everyone I knew said it didn't make a difference, they were all the same. Many voted for Ralph Nader, who was really the Bernie Sanders of his moment. And we've since learned, twice this century, a leader's choices have enormous influence on the day-to-day mental well-being of the Citizenry. Bush and Trump. Who could have known that those weeks of hanging-chad tug-o-war would have such consequential consequences? I mean...(looking back, can there REALLY be any doubt that a hanging chad is a vote?)

A Gore presidency would have been an easy Democrat transition, with many of the same players in positions of power, and there likely would have been a smooth and steady stream of reliable analysis. It's hard to imagine 9/11 unfolding in the same incompetent vacuum as the neophyte Bush & Co. But even if it had, the response would have been entirely different. A new international consensus on terrorism would likely have emerged. Torture wouldn't have reentered the American lexicon. And endless wars would not have begun. Let's face it; 9/11 fucked us up in the head. But the legacy of that day - its Islamaphobia and conspiracy theories - ignited the modern political schism.

So there's that. Then there's the Internet. A development in communication so utterly overwhelming as to make both Black Lives Matter and White Supremacy movements, Occupy Wall Street and fascist memes, into powerful new weapons against the Liberal Democratic Orthodoxy. So much promise and good; so much hate and misinformation. Do they cancel each other out? Creating a dialectic not unlike those of decades and even centuries past? Maybe. That's for the historians. Right now it just feels like war - a real information war, not so much of government against the people, but rather People against People, aided and abetted by an insecure government and a profiteering propoganda-class. But here's one thing I'd note - the glorified vioence of internet trolls rarely (I said rarely) makes it into real life - people feel comfortable spewing hate online. But they tend to think twice about real felonious mischief. (Remember I said "tend." It's a big country, and sometimes the sociopaths forget it's all "in good fun." There's a very real and dangerous anti-social white supremacy movement out there. But it's not synonymous with Trumpism. They just use each other, and I don't actually think we're headed for civil war. Just more randos killing people. You know, the American usual.)

In a couple weeks we'll know which direction we're headed. Unlike many of the black friends and pundits I've listened to (yes, listened) I don't think there will be much true citizen-on-citizen unrest. The "State," both Deep and Shallow, is too ingrained to allow for full-on war, or even battles. The Far Right will go back where they belong - grumbling and underground. The Far Left will be silenced by voices of moderation and consensus. The Middle will once again prevail, but maybe it'll finally be time for some serious tinkering with health care and income inequality. That's it. That's what I predict. Boring, right?

As for the Cops...I've always disliked them. I've feared them, truth be told. But never mortally so. And I'm a big white guy who LOOKS like he could be a closet Trumper. And I've felt entitled to talk back to them on occasion. But mostly their whole purpose, far as I can tell, is to create a background noise of fear to the underclasses. Don't mess with our stuff. Don't come in our neighborhoods. Don't get too Uppity. Sorry bluefellas. That's how it is, and in your souls you know it. You got into this game to keep certain people down. You're not heroes. You're barely "civil" servants. Fuck you, and anyone who thinks the Cops is a decent way to make a living. YOU made it a dangerous profession. It never had to be.

We need to start all over with police; detectives, okay. A certain number of socially aware protectors of the peace? Maybe. Mostly we need interrupters and specialists in disputes, because isn't that really what the cops are for? Only experienced cops with proven restraint should ever carry weapons - and what's with modern tech not creating safer tasers or some such? You put a computer on the moon but you can't safely incapacitate a man with a gun (or candy bar)? And get rid of the unions in the cops. Sorry, but this is one place that unions don't belong. Maybe some sort of bargaining panel, but not something that can protect police from scrutiny and punishment. No one should have a badge who has even the hint of sociopathic rage. The badge should be given as a medal for decency, not a license to kill.

There essay done for now. Back to the neighborhood...oh, and vote will ya?

Saturday, October 10, 2020

Fire Destroys Apartment on Clarkson - Please Donate

pic by Lloyd Mitchell for Brooklyn Paper

We've all imagined the scenario. Through no fault of our own, or random carelessness, a fire breaks out in our abode. And even if we all get out alive we lose things that we can't easily replace, and we have to start all over. Most often images of these tragedies take place elsewhere - California, India, New Jersey, Greenpoint. And then it happens right across the street, and you can't turn away. Every day you think about it, and how difficult it must be. Granted there are tragedies playing out on every block in the City. But...

If you have a moment and a few bucks, please consider a gift.

Friday, September 4, 2020

Yet Another Gaslighter Among So Very Many

Lovin' that Dixie Chicks song Gaslighter. Sorry, I mean, The Chicks. Does anything speak to the moment more than a song of defiance that sounds like it talks about Trump written by a rich white lady who used to have a Confederacy-glorifying name getting gaslit by a rich vain white guy who schtooped some younger lady on HER yacht? This shit is layered, y'all. And the Chicks are so serious when they sing! Remember "Not Ready To Make Nice?" That was about GEORGE W. BUSH. Where a big chunk of this current world moment starts. Where were you for the election of 2000, the closest in American history, where once again the will of the people was trashed? I really think that. Then 9/11, and Iraq. We invented a whole new agency (Homeland Security) that's come to bite us on the ass (like we knew it would), a real world Big Brother that gets plenty of support from the Google/Amazon/Apple/Facebook even BIGGER brothers. A new openness to intolerance, racism, otherness, vile hatred and bitterness. Fox News. Idealogy Bubbles. Conspiracy theories gone mainstream. Vaccines, truthers, Q-Anons (I wish this Q got a dollar every time someone spouts that garbage!) Income inequality. 9/11. Bush over Gore, Bush to Obama, Obama to Trump. Trump to...god help us.

But none of it is really new, of course, as the recent racial reckoning shows. 1963, 1968, the '80s, always with the guns and the evangelicals and Klan-esque figures and conspiracy after conspiracy theory. Nothing is new. Just recycled. The fascism, the populism, the capitalist cutthroats and socialist kvetching. The racism, the anti-anti-racism, the dumb rednecks, the anti-semitism (Soros? Really?). Plus, you get the calling out of whites for their ignorance and racism, their Karenism. The "nice" whites trying their best to be helpful, though often hurting the cause (check "Nice White Parents," the podcast that nails the coffin.) Either we live in strange times, or we live in...times. We see it more - the brutality, the anger, the backlash, the fear, the "calling out" and "erasing," the mean-spirits and cross-posters. It's all out there, swashing across the internet's deck during perfect storms and hurricanes.

This summer I did like lots of folks, pulled up anchor for awhile, to think, to breathe. I'm lucky. With the family I went to New England, worked remotely, chasing wi-fi, falling in love again with one of the most beautiful places on earth. Truly. The mountains, the sea, islands, farmlands, the green green green, rivers, waterfalls, lakes, gardens, and a surprising number of Black Lives Matter signs and murals all over the rural lands. Mostly white people live there of course, but it's a pretty strong showing nonetheless. I wish rural America felt more welcoming to African-Americans, but I've come to learn that many POC don't feel comfortable around ruddy-faced pickup driving types, who I will admit don't always make me feel welcome either. Had to keep the Mrs. from bashing out the windows of an asshole's confederate flag flying truck. The food is worse, music worse, dancing WAY worse, parties lamer, streets tamer. Not a lot of vim and vigor, or culture to speak of (though the Drive-In movie theaters are a hoot). Sigh. The country, even in blue states, for all its seductive beauty, can never match the hustle/bustle flamboyant City we call home. If Brooklynites could come take over Rochester, Vermont for JUST ONE NIGHT, maybe we could cut a deal?

Speaking of gaslighting, I felt a good deal of it a couple years back. What was it with Imani Henry and Alicia Boyd going after me like I was the new David Duke? Gaslighting, make me question myself and my motives, make me silently slip away. I've always expressed, to the best of my ability, my own awkward reckoning with race and social justice through the lens of my neighborhood, its changes. I've never shied away from the effects, adverse and (sometimes) positive, of the ever-changing neighborhood enviornment. I've never pretended to be "woke," but I have woken up to all sorts of things over a decade of blogging.

Basically my crime was that I had the audacity (and some would say stupidity) to publicly call out Alicia Boyd (MTOPP) and Imani Henry (Equality for Flatbush) for being abusive, divisive, dictatorial, unable to handle civil dialogue mean and bullying. I knew I was stepping into a landmine, and man oh man, Boyd tried to shut down the blog and get me fired. Imani was just plain a dick. It wasn't fun. I lawyered up. Got ready for battle. Endured the abuse. I moved on - got sick of fighting with the Community Board as it crumbled under pressure from Boyd. The activists continued to do their work, their points often good enough for me to leave well enough alone. I wanted to be part of the conversation, but then the conversation became unproductive, and friends told me I wasn't helping, and to leave well enough alone. And then...

Not that long ago I got a call. From a mom. Her daughter, she said, was caught up in a cult and being brainwashed by the leader. "Why call me?" She had found my name on the interweb connected to this guy, and she wondered if I knew how to get her daughter back. When I found out she was 19, I told her what I knew in my heart to be true. That her daughter was an adult, that she was entitled to make the mistakes of youth, to feel passionately about stuff, to get sucked into things that she might later regret. I told her that my own life had gone off the rails a time or two, that I could commiserate, but unless she was the victim of a crime, not much could be done but pray and hope for the best. The stories she told were hard to hear. But I took a pass on getting more involved.

And then, someone sends me the below. A heartfelt plea from a passionate young person (not the same one whose mother had called) to be mindful of a treacherous and longstanding tendency in revolutionary politics. Leaders who are abusive, who profess things they themselves can't adhere to. I'm not going to insert myself into their struggle, these young folks, some of whom showed up at my house to spew anger my way for what they perceived was MY hatred, MY racism, MY ignorance. (I plead not guilty to the first charge, unwitting acceptance of the system of the second, and to the third, all I can say is what I don't know could fill a warehouse.)

I'll let Em tell Em's experience. I was going to go into a whole diatribe of my own, but this isn't my story. This isn't my truth. I know Imani to be abusive; I've experienced it. I've told you about it. I'll let someone who dared to get close to him tell how leaders fail, how they're often hurtful to the hurting, how they cause damage to those damaged by a society that tells them they don't matter. They do matter. I share this, because I know they do, and I'll try to listen better to everybody. I found this essay insightful and full of decency and self-knowledge. I hope you will too.

Please give Em 15 minutes of your time?

Essay on Imani and Gaslighters and so-called leaders

Below, a couple short quotes from Em's article. These are some classic gaslighter behaviors. Activists beware, take care, please know that there are lots of older white guys like me who are pulling for you to change the things we have been too inept or too blind to change for the better. I really mean that. I feel my generation has let you down, horribly, perhaps fatally. I will continue to join the call, but I'll keep my voice to a minimum and try to elevate yours. In the coming months, I hope to do more of that. Feel free to reach out to me if you'd like to do an interview or write a blog post. I'm here.

"Imani Henry is abusive, he has abused me, he has abused survivors of violence who trusted up for help, he has abused other leadership, and while he has said he is willing to be a part of this process, every action he has taken since I and another former employee had a call-in meeting with him, has shown that his priority is to protect his control, his position, and attempt to delegitimize everything we say by deflecting and putting blame on us." 

"Transformative justice has been co-opted by abusers to continue cycles of abuse. More things I’m learning in the NYC left organizing scene. All I can hope for is the former leadership and volunteers of E4F to continue the work we want to do because it is needed and valuable in Flatbush. We do not need Imani, we do not need E4F. I wish nothing but healing and peace for Imani and everyone in E4F leadership. All I know is that in no spaces period, but ESPECIALLY these places that are supposed to be “safe”, should there be any type of abuse, predatory behavior, and manipulation"

Tuesday, June 23, 2020

Shirley and Diana: History and Legacy

Despite the horrible job America does at teaching black history, I do remember a few names and did my own research as a teen to get to know them better. MLK and Malcolm X for sure, and Harriet Tubman and the biggest moments of the civil rights movement. But most of the most violent and troubling pieces were left out - I guess for fear of upsetting us? For fear that it might turn us into protesters and crusaders for equality? Afraid it might anger KKKers and White Supremacists is probably more likely. Keep it docile, make the whites not look TOO bad. There's some common sense in that I suppose, among nervous educators. But at moments like these, when history starts to close in on the present, it only lays bare the hypocrisy and orthodoxy of the American experiment. 

Somehow though, the name Shirley Chisholm did bust through to my lily education. Why is that? Thinking back now, she must have been a GIANT (albeit petite) to cut through the crap. And indeed she was, and had you lived in Brooklyn circa 1970s she might very well have been your Congresswoman. 


And if you doubt the idea of legacy, take a peek at Diana Richardson, who happens to be on your ballot today.

Vote for Diana if you haven't already. She's pure of heart and yes will probably stick her foot in her mouth from time to time. But you know why? She's unbought and unbossed. Like her hero Shirley Chisholm. And if Adem doesn't win the congressional seat from Yvette Clarke, I would go as far as to say Diana is a damn solid candidate for that spot in a couple years. You read it hear first.

Take a peek at Shirley telling it like it is during her 1972 campaign for pres, followed by some classic Diana.


And from your buddy Seth Kaplan comes this call to arms - actually, much simpler. A call to email. Will you take the ONE MINUTE it takes to send this? 

If you love Prospect Park, please read on. You probably already know that in 2022 an amazing new monument to Shirley Chisholm will be unveiled in Prospect Park. But did you know we're only halfway to our goal to honor the first black woman in Congress?

We have a chance to add an additional center located at the monument to further educate visitors about Shirley Chisholm and her significant contributions to our history. But we need your help.

The pandemic has strained budgets and resources across the city and state. We need you to tell the City Council that NOW MORE THAN EVER we must commemorate our black heroes.

Here's what YOU can do. Send a message to the City Council members who will vote on this initiative. Repost this on your Facebook page. Tell your friends. Show that we are committed to bringing this history to life!

Send an email with the subject “I support funding for the Shirley Chisholm Center in Prospect Park” to:

Corey Johnson (
Laurie Cumbo (
Brad Lander (
Mathieu Eugene (

If you'd like a sample form letter please see below. Thank you for helping support Prospect Park. Your input can make a difference!

Dear Council Members,

My name is [fill in the blank].

I would like to express my support of the Prospect Park Alliance’s capital request to the Brooklyn Delegation of the NYC Council to create an additional Shirley Chisholm Center at the new monument.

With these funds, the Alliance and NYC Parks can go beyond just commemoration and educate visitors about Shirley Chisholm and her significant contributions to our history. Now more than ever we must honor our black heroes. Thank you for your consideration.

[fill in the blank]

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Could Diana and Zell Lead the Way To Lasting Change?

Assemblywoman Diana Richardson

To put it mildly, elections have consequences. Not since 9/11 (aNOTHER stolen election mind you) has that been so obvious, at the Federal level. But watching dynamic duo Assemblymember Diana Richardson and State Senator Zell Myrie this past weekend in a protest at Grand Army Plaza, I'm beginning to wonder if they might be holding the key to real reform of the police at the STATE level. Both were elected post-Trump. Yes elections have consequences. Sometimes for the very much better.

Here's a concise look at their package of police reforms, smartly wrapped with a bow to make it easy to pass these common sense reforms all in one fell timely swoop. (note that many of these bills were originally sponsored by others, including Kevin Parker). 


If you can truly change the cops, there's a lot else that changes. Arrests and incarceration, admissible evidence in court, opportunities to highlight bad behavior, less incentives to criminalize and ticket minor offenses. It all starts with the police, and how they're hired, disciplined, fired and generally held accountable. It's been difficult for white Americans to articulate and embrace this, because the powers-that-be have often assured whites that their quality-of-life depends upon harsh treatment of criminals. Sure some actual criminals look like Nicholas Cage in Raising Arizona. But be honest - usually the conjured image is someone much darker in skin tone. And to American Woman comes the usual refrain "Don't worry, ma'am. We've got this under control." Right?

It's not under control. It's out of control. And you and everyone you know recognizes it. Even when white folks I know have interactions with the cops, there's often a perceived whiff of disdain for the public, white OR black. I can run a few stories by you but I bet you've experience what I've experienced. Assholes. Brutes. Dicks. Bullies. And on social media and the news, you've now seen the true brutality that can be meted out by a man with a baton, badge and bullets. If you've been to some of the recent protests, you may have even experienced it first-hand.

Sure there are some good cops. I've met some. But why should we even have to make note of that fact? It's actually something worth remarking on. It's "remarkable" you might say.

I'd make a deeper argument here, but it's being made better elsewhere. Zell does a great job. Diana says it like it is. Many black elected leaders and activists and writers and poets and filmmakers have put it all out there. Now it's time for the jury to decide. And find the cops "guilty as charged" of making a mockery of decency and civility and justice. I might even go as far as to say "it's not their fault; it's the system." Screw that. Good people know right from wrong. Good people don't actively target black folks, "mistakenly" shoot, harrass and kill them, unless they have made an active choice to use force and intimidation over concern and empathy.

It's time to end the police as we know it. All of those sick wise-ass white supremacist cops need to be given permanent leave. And when they're gone, they can sign up again for a civilian patrol and for the new community-led protection and service corps, or whatever it ends up being. If they have the right stuff - compassion, understanding, patience, tolerance - then they can get a version of their old job back. If they're lacking? Nuts to you. Sadly, I'm sure some will end up beating people up from the back of their pickup trucks. Most, hopefully, will settle for a job without a weapon.

Imagine. A service corps where the "blue code" is about decency, and THAT'S the quality that gets protected by the brother and sisterhood of community police.

The real question is this. If you offer the job of "Civilian Officer" and very, very few of those positions are offered a gun, and none get lifetime protection from actual felonies, and none get a military style uniform and immunity from their peers testifying against them9...

How many of these cops would sign up for that job, even if the pay and perks were the same as now? Or were the gun, badge and uniform the perks they liked the best?

It's not unheard of to dismantle one thing and build it back, better and smarter and kinder. Oh, and those detectives solving murder and rape cases? They never needed guns to begin with. Think about it. All that work happens AFTER the violence.

State sponsored brutality must end. This is the moment. The whole world is watching. Your kids are watching. Maybe worst of all, the COPS are watching.

So what's the verdict going to be?

Sunday, May 31, 2020

When Whites Crash #BlackLivesMatter. And Accelerationism

Is the current moment of political unrest a chance for solidarity between white and black? Or are all the same dynamics of race, gender and class that plague societal progress simply playing out again on the political left?

More to the point: does that question implicitly ignore the third possibility of outside forces working to keep the two apart? Is our thinking too (ahem) black and white?

These have been the questions on my mind as I looked out at the recent massive protests breaking out across the U.S. and particularly in gentrified Brooklyn. At  first glance I felt proud and heartened by the huge number of Caucasians, young to middle-age mostly, lots of beards and tattoos and funky backpacks. I know these (sorts of) people well, and while I complain from time to time, their hearts are typically solid and their voting impeccable. But in many ways this bunch includes just the sorts of people that many black writers and activists have been kvetching about. Sure, the line went, half a million show up for a feminist rally in Washington D.C. the day Trump gets elected. But where's the outrage when black and brown folks are cruelly targeted by racist cops? And why so many white male leaders rather than working with black leaders who are ALREADY on the ground? But hey, across the country, whites are starting to show up in numbers. That's good! But some are committing vandalism, even instigating violence. And black friends and activists wonder - is this helping or hurting?

You don't need a magnifying glass to judge the demographic makeup of this crowd across from my beloved Q. 

And a walk through this enormous turnout last afternoon continued the trend:

Add to that the insanity of your State Senator Zellnor Myrie being pepper-sprayed and handcuffed by cops for nonviolent protest, while the majority of (mostly white) protesters escape unharmed. (Sorry Zell I don't like making use of your pain to sell a point, but this photo proves what's at stake, and I hope you're okay and more determined than ever to bring the police to account. This is so unnecessary. Let the protests play out. Step in if you see someone destroy something, but not before. And go easy. Most protesters are being arrested peacefully.)

White folks helping, or hurting?

One case in point...a pair of sisters with Antifa backgrounds throw a Molotov cocktail into a cop van. Lucky for them the selfie-bomb was a dud, or they'd be facing murder rather than attempted murder charges. The Samantha Sader story is but one example of a white person being really unhelpful to the cause. This single incident will be used often by the media to show that protests of police abuses are not to be condoned. Other white protesters started fires, threw bricks, broke windows - all pretty standard for trying to instigate a larger conflict. But are these efforts condoned by black protest leaders? Is anyone even ASKING?

In Minneapolis, epicenter of the George Floyd murder and protests, we now have multiple credible accounts of thousands of protesters from outside the Twin Cities, often alone or in suspiciously small groups, causing chaos, fires and looting. According to sounds on the ground from folks in the Little Apple, these often body-and-face-covered actors are by and large white, and at least some seem suspiciously white supremacist, and not interested in joining the larger crowds in slogans and marches.

Who are the "instigators" then? 

Maybe it's anti-fascists, or Antifa, who I gotta say are generally cool by me. The brave resistance fighters have no leaders. They confront, they call-out, they don't generally show up with weapons or act violently, though sometimes the property destruction and graffiti is ill-advised. There's no one to hold accountable; individual Antifa do what they please, so in a sense, they're no different than any protester acting out of conscience. They tend to be more emboldened, and god bless. And please, don't criticize unless YOU are on the front lines too. It's easy to quarterback from a distance. Get your hands dirty, and we can talk!

So, like any group of zealots they have adherants who take it all a little too far. There is no Antifa "plan" that promotes violence at protests, and George Soros is not their secret puppet master (the scary anti-semitic trope that has an scary number of believers). But they're brave, and they'll get up in faces. My favorite things Antifa does is to counter-protest white supremacists, and to dox racists and trolls, forcing their hate into the limelight, often getting them fired or ostracized. A nice trick, that. But does Antifa help or hurt the Black Lives Matter movement? Depends on who you ask, but increasingly, they're a thorn in the side of police-brutality protests.

And what about the Accelarationists?

What a great word for a truly fiery global trend. Remember Dylann Roof? Recall just last year's 51 Muslim dead in New Zealand at the hands of a white supremacist? That's "Accelerationism," or the sick practice of forcing ever-greater conflict to instigate a global race war. It's hate, yes. But it's also political. It's political terrorism, meant to incite even greater violence. To think it was simply because Roof hated African-Americans that he decided one day to kill a bunch of them to rid the world of a few of his enemies, that's just nonsensical. Admit it, it never made sense to you either. Even hatred tends to have its internal logic. No. This is a PLAN, and a movement, and rather than label Antifa as terrorists, the Accelerationists need to be spoken of widely in the media and labeled as such, even if "domestic terrorism" has no legal basis, or they will continue to infiltrate protests without consequence and create the conditions more likely to lead to massive civil unrest. Just as they planned

Simply put, Antifa want to shut down the police and change the system. Accelarationists want to get the police so mad they crack down even harder. And with their hatred of multiculturism, they TOO want to change the system. The "centrists" that get so much hate from far left and far right? They get blamed as BEING the system. Hard to win, but it's worth remembering that centrists vote, and 

More on the Accelarationist movement. Make no mistake, they are in Minneapolis and across the country, doing their best to make things worse. Again, whites. And in this case, there's no question they are undermining the message.

How low can whites go? There seems to be no bottom to depths of depravity.

And as on schedule, we have this story of the sick prick who torched a historical building in Nashville. A white supremacist. An Accelerationist. A deeply disturbing example of just why Antifa exists. This kids fascism is real, and if "the State" won't deal with him forefully and call out his behavior for what it is?

That's why Antifa is essential, if not perfect. The State, and centrists, aren't brave enough to take this on.

It's true Hank, "that boy ain't right." Bobby Hill, all grow'd up.


Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Monday, May 11, 2020

Eric Adams Is Right: Get Police Out of Social Distancing

When a guy's right, a guy's right. And Eric's nailed it on this issue. Standing within six feet of another person without a mask isn't a crime - it's a bad idea, reckless sure, but maybe unintentional or misinformed. The fact that some cops are rougher, even violent, with people of color on enforcement surprise no one. But is it even an offense they should be policing to begin with?

In the below video, former cop Adams talks about how our City is taking part in a worldwide experiment in "re-culturing." In essence, old behaviors have to be unlearned and FAST. We have to change or we will inadvertently get others sick, killing them or permanently injuring them as COVID ravages their bodies. Crazy, but those are the stakes.

My sister tells me that in north Florida she's in the minority, wearing masks and keeping distance, at the grocery stores and other retailers. People are actively flouting the guidelines to "protest" Bill-Gates-loving-liberals telling them what to do. In NYC, we're generally following good science, and quietly persuading our fellow New Yorkers to do as we do. That's how we slow this thing down - a mass re-education, or re-culturing.

Check out Eric's ideas on how to spread the word without resorting to strong-arm tactics.

Thursday, May 7, 2020

The Great Depression Begins - Feed the Hungry

Lots of people hungry. Lots of folks lost their jobs. Lots of folks were reliant on someone who lost their job. Lots of folks can't pay their rent, their mortgage. Lots. Lots and lots.

Sound like the Great Depression? I don't need to tell you this. You don't need to wait for the Federal Reserve to make the statement. We are, for worse and worst, living in a replica of the top of the Great Depression. If you wondered, as I often have, what it must have been like at the START of that fabled era, it would have looked and felt a lot like this, but without the dreadful Zoom meetings. And while history has not been kind to President Herbert Hoover, he was actually a man of conscience and considerable skills. In fact, before the Crash he'd been an American hero, trying to feed the masses, update labor laws and encouraging other upper classies to champion progressive policies and even helped the defeated Germans during their early '20s Great Famine. From Wiki: Hoover had been little known among the American public before 1914, but his service in the Wilson administration established him as a contender in the 1920 presidential election. Hoover's wartime push for higher taxes, criticism of Attorney General A. Mitchell Palmer's actions during the First Red Scare, and his advocacy for measures such as the minimum wage, forty-eight-hour workweek, and elimination of child labor made him appealing to progressives of both parties

The Q can't tell you what the best way to respond to the unfolding tragedy, but here's a couple options.

Killer Assemblyperson Diana Richardson put together this list of local food delivery sites for those seeking distribution of essentials - maybe share widely, or even make a poster or flyer and share? And my previous post suggested a great place to give money or volunteer - Flatbush United Mutual Aid - if you want to help get groceries to people who can't leave their abodes. If you want to join the group get on Slack, yet another app that a person living in 2020 must be on in order to feel whole. Go here to join FUMA's Slack after you donwload the app (I know, I know old person. It's just how it is...remember when Gramma couldn't figure out the remote control on the TV?) 

Or if you have extra in the pantry, just drop some appropriate foodstuffs by Diana's office. It's a makeshift food pantry, open to anyone on Friday at noon.

Friday, April 24, 2020

Flatbush Mutual Aid Needs You

Overwhelmed? Of course you are. It's okay to feel that way, but it's not good for the ticker and gray matter to stay that way. The back doesn't like it either.

Some folks are dealing with a deep loneliness at home. And just as the grass is always greener over the septic tank, the Q years for a bit of alone-ness. The girls, at 8 and 11, are doing "distance learning," which basically means homeschooling with an active modem. Work is weird and bizarrely busy, like everyone in the non-profit world is trying to prove how valuable they are, when in fact many of us feel guilty just for having a job at all, fueled by money donated by others.

So, what to do? Here's a tip. Join or donate to the Flatbush United Mutual Aid Society. If you're even the slightest bit tech-curious, you can join them on, and while joining yet ANOTHER social media site might make your fingers weary just thinking about it, Slack is basically a glorified texting aggregator that makes it possible for many people to join together to solve problems. You can be on it constantly or 10 minutes a day. You can do work from home (like intake and organizing) or shop and deliver groceries to neighbors who request help. No questions asked. You need something, the community does its best to abide. I've been doing some grocery shop/deliveries and let me tell you, it takes the edge off big time. Talk about one-to-one aid. Give money!

There are literally hundreds of aid groups, but this one is full of your neighbors, and just imagine, when this whole thing is over, you'll have made a bunch of new friends you can maybe finally meet in person.

Anyhoo, head over to the Flatbush United Mutual Aid Facebook page (not the other FMA website) and read about them here on the reliable BKLYNER



TO GIVE VIA PAYPAL (Much Needed!) 

Send $$ to (name of recipient Janine Cunningham)

Monday, April 20, 2020

Testing and Self-Delusion

Wondering if you've got the demon bug? You can actually get tested, if you're in one of these high risk groups.

Given that Essential Workers is a huge category these days that includes everything from the postwoman to the food workers to medical workers to building supers to sanitation and MTA to ConEd to HVAC to hardware stores to veterinarians to journalists to check-cashing places to custodians to good lord just about everyone who actually matters during a crisis which means ultimately that what I've often feared was true IS in fact true, that I'm not essential in any way, and maybe you're feeling the same, that there is nothing inherently needed about what you do for a living and this whole question of whether you're just taking up space on this planet while shuffling towards death has been answered, full stop, and there's really no reason not to crawl up in a ball and hibernate til the whole thing is over, because basically your primary utility is to purchase things to keep the economy moving for the next batch of self-deluded middle-class fools.

CUNY-Medgar Evers College has partnered with One Medical and will be providing COVID-19 testing onsite to essential workers, inclusive of those who work in adult care centers.  Additionally, constituents who are 65 years older with pre-existing medical conditions are also eligible for testing at this site.

Please note that testing will be conducted Monday - Friday from 9am-6pm by appointment only.  For those seeking to be tested, please call 1 (888) 663-6331 or by logging onto to schedule an appointment and for specific campus location details.

Friday, April 3, 2020

The New Regular Is Really Not Regular

As a man past 50 I'll tell you a little secret - the Q is lost without his Metamucil. For years I wondered why I couldn't depend upon regular and satisfying bowel movements, but like so many men my age and older I suffered in silence. During a difficult period one vacation I gave psyllium husk a try and I've never let it far from my sight. Solid, greaseless and regular B.M.'s have resulted, and I wouldn't trade that for all the tea in China. I even save money on toilet paper.

You might think that's gross. But is it? Aren't YOU the one who's cheating yourself out of one of life's little luxuries? Psyllium has been used since way before the white man arrived on these shores, and it'll probably still be in use once the white man is eradicated by a new small pox that effects his people but spares the natives, a centuries-long come-uppance for genocide.

Where was I...oh, yes, the Pandemic of 2020. This morning I ran out of Psyllium Husk and so readied myself as for battle with my adorable handmade green polka-dot mask (fashioned by a book club friend of Mrs. Q) and latext gloves, plus a bit of sanitizer in the old coat pocket, and headed around the corner to the Duane Reade, or as the Q's girls still call it the Don Reed, which gives the Q a kick of joy every time he hears the name uttered.

The new normal means that one will stand in line OUTSIDE the joint waiting to enter at a clip that keeps the Don Reed less than its usual density to the tune of about 15 per. There are markings on the floor to keep even the cashier line separated. A man whose meds weren't ready was freaking out - they were his "crazy" meds as he called them. The pharmacist calmed him down and said he'd front him a few while they worked things out with the insurance company. Little heroes seem like Churchills right now.

Tense. Eyes are sunken. A few drunks across the street tossed their bottle into the planter. I was aware of the spit that was inevitably coming from their mouths and I was glad to be on the other sidewalk. For myself I knew they weren't actually free of the reality, just hiding from it for a time, and who am I to begrudge them.

Listening to reports from hospitals is more than the heart can take, but it seems somehow a must to be there with the doctors and hospital workers as much as possible, to at least not be numb to the pain of so many dying alone, their families unable to say good-bye, except perhaps by FaceTime, as the bodies are lifted into refrigerator trucks to handle the overflow from the morgues.

It's dark dude. It's really, really dark, and getting darker.

Sunday, March 29, 2020

It's All In the Hands (and face)

It's getting hard to talk to friends about how this COVID-19 gets transmitted. So much fear and hype that I try to stick to the experts and not argue. No one likes a know-it-all, especially in a pandemic I'm finding.

This is perhaps the best video I've seen on the issue of how the coronavirus moves from human to human. It's not nearly as easy to transmit as you might think BUT (and this is a big but) we will have to drastically change the way we touch our own faces. That's why the mask is a useful part of the equation - not surgical grade masks mind you - but any mask. Even the Scream mask would work. Because what you're doing is training yourself not to touch your own face. For some, easier than others, amiright?

Of course everyone needs to be careful in the way that makes them most comfortable. But the idea that you're getting this thing from every surface you touch is not so helpful - touch whatever you like - just don't touch your face until you wash or disinfect.

Additionally, if you DO make a mistake, don't freak. The primary way this thing moves is through SUSTAINED close distant contact and mucous to mucous contact. You know kissing, potentially hugging, getting coughed on. The idea that it just jumps from one person to another like a bug is a poor analogy, and makes people more afraid than is necessary. (A fair amount of fear is obviously justified - but not to the point of complete mental breakdown).

So here it is. I encourage sharing Dr. David Price's common sense video as widely as possible.

Saturday, March 28, 2020

You Know It's Serious When the Bagel Place Closes

Took a walk up the Flabenue this morning. Typically it would be full of action even early, folks getting ready for a relaxing start to their weekend, early brunch, Adventists going to church, businesses readying for a weekend of heavy traffic. Nothing. Lefferts has ground to a near-halt. Sure folks are walking about, but mostly they're "essential" workers. Earlier this week the Q took a train to JFK to rent a car. The subway stations were spooky quiet. Cops at every turnstile, on platforms, not yet enforcing what will surely become some sort of "why are you out and about" kind of ban. Because...

This was the week it all became real. Really real.

I thought it might be good to grab a dozen bagels from Flatbush Bagel at the corner of Maple. Typically bustling by this time, it's closed. Closed due to Coronacrisis. What's crazy about that is that we're JUST GETTING STARTED. A NYC neighborhood without bagels is like a cow without flies. It's like a flap without mud. Skin without pores. A capital without a capitol. (Oh who am I kidding. Lefferts didn't have proper bagels til a couple years ago. would think bagels were more than just essential.)

The grocery stores are the only reliably open shops right now. Half the restaurants have closed, most having laid off staffs. There's still food on the shelves, but very specific items have been horded. Toilet paper is the most silly but apparent. Usually there are thousands of rolls to be had at literally dozens of stores. But somehow, New Yorkers with their tiny living spaces, have bought up every truckload that comes in. And this, despite NO indications that there will be shortages of paper products of any kind. It's not a hurricane, and most paper is produced domestically. To put it plainly, people are hording toilet paper because OTHER people are hording toilet paper.

Guess it tells you something about our priorities. When the shit hits the fan, we want to be sure to have something with which to wipe our asses. I mean, after all, isn't this truly what separates us from the beasts?

The food runs make more sense, pasta and peanut butter etc., but I was really surprised by the empty sugar shelves. Guess a lot of people turn to baking, both to save money and for comfort. Still, in the US of A, it's strange to see ANY shelves empty. Anywhere. Even the Ideal and Associated supermarkets are asking customers to maintain distancing, a near impossibility in City groceries, but remarkably it's happening. Though occasionally someone grabs the space between and butts in line. Which normally would cause fisticuffs, but right now, people seem to be forgiving. And given that life has slowed considerably for many, maybe it's just that folks would rather stay out of their homes a few more minutes anyway. Something productive to do, an escape from the four walls.

Bodegas, generally, seem to consider themselves exempt from the entire affair. No masks, no gloves. The local delis around me are mostly manned by Yemenis who seem to have decided that precautions be damned. It's a bit scary really - one can see mosques and Arab run delis being a potential Corona spreader. Though lately I've heard more rumor-mongering about Chasidic Jews holding weddings and ignoring social distancing - though frankly I can find no evidence that ultra-religious Jews are taking the crisis less seriously than anyone else. People do love to blame Jews though, don't they? The New Rochelle outbreak two weeks ago was linked to the Jewish community, but that was TWO WHOLE WEEKS AGO, which seems like a lifetime. Back then the pandemic seemed almost theoretical.

The news outside NYC is filled with horror stories about NYC. In NYC, we hear horror stories about states and elected officials OUTSIDE NYC not taking the crisis seriously. In just a week, governor Andrew Cuomo went from annoying alpha male to beloved compassionate leader, so they say, though I will note that his daily updates on the conditions are pretty damn impressive. The guy lays it all out there - the problems, the work being done, the goals, the reasons behind various rules and suggestions. It's like he was born for the job of crisis manager. Between him and his brother, Chris Cuomo of CNN, Mario's boys have become a one-two punch of diligence and chops. The fact that they keep invoking their mom Matilda is endearing and puts a human face on the "old people" most at risk during the crisis. I attach the belowe Cuomo update mostly for posterity. It gives an excellent snapshot of the situation as of March 27 in the year of the Lord 2020.

Snapshots of lockdown Week 1:

Saturday, March 21, 2020

It Will Take Someone Famous Dying...

The Q hasn't felt much like blogging lately. Blogging is SO 2010's. But with my nearly decade of shit-shooting about the neighborhood, the Q at P has become something of a history of this time in the life of Flatbush Lefferts. So to future generations, looking for anecdotal evidence of this Coronacrisis, I type this missive. Because much like the 9/11, and the Great Recession, this is a moment that will be referenced for centuries to come in history textbooks. Will it be but a blip, like the Spanish Flu pandemic of 1918? I think not. Partially because there's SO much media accompanying the craziness, but also because it comes during the single most divisive and destructive presidency of the modern era. And 50 years after Nixon, that's really saying something.

Been thinking lately that in a few days someone famous will die, despite the sort of expert treatment that only the rich can receive. "How did this happen?" they'll say. "It's a wake-up call" they'll say. "But Lou Dobbs was such a dick!" they'll say. "And I thought Ted Nugent was so healthy!" they'll say. Let's just hope it's not a beloved podcaster. That would be SO 2020.

And then the seriousness will sink in even to the willfully ignorant. You think you've seen panic? Real panic begins when Salman Rushdie or Kevin Costner goes. Imagine, surviving a Fatwa, or Waterworld, only to be felled by a microscopic bug.

I kinda liked the shadow. No signs of pandemic here.
So I give you a taste of Flatbush on March 21. Spring has clearly sprung. Forsythia blooms. The hint of cherry blossoms. Yesterday it topped 70 degrees. I considered wearing shorts, then remembered that I once complained that only white guys wear shorts before and after it's actually appropriate. Today, I saw three (3) white guys wearing shorts. They looked ridiculous. Good call, Q...

To the right you'll see that PARKSIDE pizza notes that delivery is your only option. To future gens: this was the week that the governor officially called for all restaurants and bars to stop serving in-house. A drive around last night showed that cops were enforcing the ban.

Bea of Sensory Street is moving. Probably to high rent for Flatbush storefront.

Most hair salons are still hopping. Curious what will happen when the ban goes into effect tomorrow night since the nabe has 20 within a six block walk of m'home. These places have always been the lifeblood of the neighborhood, and crucial to the life of communities of color. What will happen come Monday?
Bonafini (nee Blessings) typically packed for Saturday brunch.
Errol's warns - no more than 3 customers at a time.
Tafari Tribe: Last day to buy local gifts and clothes?

Sign of the times. And the true onslaught hasn't even begun
Westbury Inn shutters

Monday, March 9, 2020

Surely You Know the Work of Mr. Two Goobs...

Mr. Two Goobs, from his Facebook page.
My favorite artist these days is the artist whose work I see the most - Mr. Two Goobs, the man behind those brightly colored abandoned bicycles all over the neighborhood.

If you didn't know the sublime work of Mr. Two Goobs before, the most delicously clownishly named artist since Banksy, then you're in for a treat. Most of these bikes will eventually disappear, when Sanitation gets round to cutting off the locks. In the meantime, enjoy the simple pleasures of a mangled mess of metal. His work will remain up for an indefinite period of time.

A toast, to the power of two. Two Goobs. Some of my personal faves:

Monday, February 17, 2020

The PLG - Post-Truth in Real Estate at Flatbush's Most Luxury Building

The PLG vs/ Lefferts Gardens vs Flatbush wars be damned. Once developers start naming buildings all the way south on Linden "The PLG," the joke's on us. 123 Linden was very recently the site of a stately longtime old-age home, and ironically also housed offices of the only man who probably could have prevented this building being built, Councilperson Mathieu "Empty Suit" Eugene. 123 Linden is now visible from the Empire State Building. Because frankly if you can see the Empire State Building from the roof of "The PLG," that Lady serving as a symbol for freedom (or for cheap European labor, depending through whose eyes you're viewing)  - if you see her, she can most certainly see you.

Wow that building looks SO much bigger than the Q ever imagined. There were reasons for its being built, and they weren't all nefarious. To save the nursing home behind it, the board sold off the land and presumably air rights for what has become, I suppose, the new normal. Though even in market-rate-ridden PLG/Flatbush, there ain't nothing normal about this place. I mean, c'mon, TWO swimming pools?

Wednesday, February 5, 2020

Nazi Rally Over; Time To Get Busy

Geezus Effing Kree-stay. Last night's State of the Union was propaganda, lies, jingoism, nationalism, cheering zealots - everything but the Hitler Salute. We're in some deep shit folks. That was so utterly and awfully terrifying, and I don't scare easy. The Medal of Freedom just went to a virulent sexist racist with a vicious tongue.

Look. I know we're busy. We've got lives and kids and family. But none of that means anything without a future.

Let's all dedicate ourselves this year to sacrificing what we can in the name of the country. If you're comfortable now, you won't necessarily always be. And if you're comfortable now and able, why not fight for the rights of others? Trump is white Americas problem. And it's time for white America to step up and take him out. (with help of course).

Pick your candidate. And quit yer whining Bernie Bros! This is your time. You earned it. Cut it with the conspiracy theories and mansplaining and trying to "outliberal" everybody. When you're the front-runner the ONE THING you can't get away with is being an asshole.

You're winning, BBs! Bernie is not my first choice for president - that would be Elizabeth Warren. She'd be a MUCH better commander in chief. But Bernie and his acolytes will out-work her and bring out a wider tent than we've ever seen before. He should name her as VP by the end of April so we can all get to it. And Bernie Bros? Don't let us the fuck down, okay? You've been champing at the bit and complaining since the Dem Convention in 2016. Do your thing and make us proud. Just don't be a dick about it.

Come to the debate on Friday. And get ready to rumble.

Tuesday, February 4, 2020

For Pete's Sake: "The Benny" Is the Q's New Neighbor

Never in a million years did the Q expect to read this sentence referring to my down-the-block neighbor building that's taken the place of a cinder-block Pentecostal church:

The gates, inspired by legendary modernist Le Corbusier’s Curutchet House in La Plata, Argentina, open onto a double-height entry. 

Like, wtf?

We've watched as this puppy grows to full dog-hood, and now we get to attach a name. The Benny. Like, what, the Benjamin? The drugs? The word also refers to rude, dumb tourists from NYC who visit the Jersey Shore and piss of the locals.

Ladies and Gentleman, I give you The Benny. And thanks to our friends at MTOPP, there are exactly ZERO below-market rent-stabilized apartments available.

 Read more here. Happy hunting.

Friday, January 24, 2020

Crime Voyeurism: Melee at King Fusion

The Q wishes he could un-see this, since everytime he walks by he's going to re-see it. Mr. King Asian Food, at 803 Flatbush. There are a few moments of cinematic gold, like when the attacker grabs soda cans but they fly out of her hands, then she gets frustrated and just pulls all the snapples onto the ground. It's never as pretty as it is when staged on the set of the Sopranos. Luckily the wounds were minor, but gee whiz, what sort of dispute led to this?

Folks on edge, man. Folks on edge.

Wednesday, January 22, 2020

"Go Back To Iowa" Says Your BP. Oh, and Ohio, too. (Idahoans can stay though)

So this is what it's come to.

Check out the video of Eric Adams grandstanding to cheering crowd of activists on MLK Day. He's decided that transplants from Iowa and Ohio have silenced and stolen from native New Yorkers. Don't get me wrong...there's a vital conversation to be had here. But it's a generation of politicians, like Eric Adams who have held power in parts of this borough, and who should be talking about structural change and explaining why they haven't come up with effective solutions to what essentially boils down to a SUCCESSFUL American city dealing with growing pains.

Easier, I guess, to blame a bunch of job seeking apartment hunters who, for the most part, play by the rules assigned them by the greedy and powerful of this City. They don't come here to steal; they come here to live, work and contribute. Do they need some tips on how not to be rubes? Hell yeah. But "go back to..." rhetoric will get you, Eric, sent back to the private sector quicker than it will win you the Mayoral election. It's not going to make life easier or better for anyone, and only encourage more division and mistrust. You sir, a child of the Black Panther generation who admires the trailblazing work of Louis Farrakhan and Al Sharpton, should know that the "GO BACK TO..." phrase has an ugly history of its own.

I've been in Brooklyn for more than 30 years, and I laugh that REAL New Yorkers like Eric Adams will never give me a pass. But you know who else are New Yorkers? Rudy Giuliani, Donald Trump, Robert Moses and generations of outright out-in-the-open racists. Surely these aren't the native New Yorkers you want protected from Iowans?

The race-baiting is on and it's a real shame. Also calling out Starbucks is just plain weird in this day and age. It's one of the most integrated coffee houses around (barring the occasional dumb-ass managers), second only to Dunkin' Donuts, our de facto community center in the early evenings.

Shit. I liked this guy once. After taking a steamroller to our community board back in 2013, I started to wonder if his hench-woman Ingrid Lewis-Martin was more interested in settling scores than making the neighborhood more harmonious.

What I'm realizing is that politicians will rarely be real to your face. I think the guy in this video is speaking from the heart. And that's what disappoints me too; that I thought maybe he was one of the good guys, someone who knows that our sum is more than the parts of our story.

Thursday, January 9, 2020

Work Starts at 931 Carroll and 40 Crown Despite TRO

This is what happens when you have no credibility, no power, and no room to negotiate.
Nada. Nilch. Nuthin'.

Portrayed as a David vs Goliath popcorn thriller by yours and my fave nabe terrorists MTOPP as a winnable fight worth the destruction of civil discourse and common decency, the end is nearing and David's about to be handed his slingshot in a muddy nutsack. The developers have restarted work at  931 Carroll Street, part of a more than 500 unit set of building that will top out around 17 stories.

All this stuff may seem confusing to you, and I can def relate. The Q has to relearn what's what every time I hear an update, and this morning we were asked by the 'Topp to brave the freezing cold at 8am to protest the excavation work that will lead to the pouring of concrete at 931. DoB apparently issued permits allowing the work despite a Temporary Restraining Order while a court case - Boyd vs Cumbo - works its way through court. Let's see. Court case pits irascible self-aggrandizer against popular caucus leading city councilwoman who has been mercilessly harassed over the years by said litigant? I'm placing my dough on the insider ball player.

Here's the simple version of the story.

This project to build 500+ apartments on what is really two separate parcels is now owned by Carmel Partners, no longer by Cornell Realty. Boyd et al have tried to argue that since the rezoning application (that was approved btw) was entered by Cornell the new owners must scrap everything and start over. That's not the case, but when has that stopped an activist from raising legal funds for their pro bono lawyer? (MTOPP's been raising money (illegitimately funnelling it through Boyd's non-profit New Directions in Healing) for all this hell-raising and harassment. Buy yourself something useful - her efforts are going nowhere but ruining people's days, weeks and even a few life-years (I hope Pearl Miles is enjoying retirement).

This is NOT the giant building planned for the Spice Factory location. That's a whole 'nother ball of wax. BBG doesn't like THAT project at all, and has been helping to organize against it. The Botanic Garden did not find THIS project particularly egregious, though, and essentially let the "spot" rezoning go through without objection. Why? Well, even though it's taller than most of us originally would have pushed for in a neighborhood-wide rezoning, it's still not taller than Ebbets Field Apartments or Tivoli Towers, which have co-existed with the southern Crown Heights area for decades.

To remind you, this is what we're talking about, though this is clearly just a block diagram (and not a scare-tactic rendering MTOPP has been circulating). You can Ebbets on the right and Tivoli in the middle of Carroll and Crown portions of the project.

Oh, and it gets better. And will keep getting better. This week we learned that an application has been filed to rezone the low-rise long-shuttered 103 Empire Boulevard. And of course, that will unleash a whole new round of outrage and fundraising from you know who.

Folks, I have it from insider authority - AB is now just a known "cost of doing business." She's neither a threat nor a viable foe. If you want to build big in our area, you just gotta put on your iron jockstrap and wait it out. That process becomes a tiny line on a big spreadsheet, written off, champagne under the bridge.

It's pathetic. So unnecessary. And so, so, tiring.

Saturday, January 4, 2020

Hens the Name

So after a nice vacay with BOTH sides of the fam, the clan flies home into Newark after midnight. Upon arrival, the truth hurts. No milk. No eggs. No bread. How will we feed the children? How WILL we feed them? How??

So the Q puts his jacket back on and heads to Flatbush Farm (nee Suzie Farm) on the Flabenue near Woodruff. As always it's bright, stocked and friendly. It's my favorite place to shop, pretty much anywhere. The day-working woman my girls know as "Suzie" gives them $5 on their birthdays, I shit you not.

For milk? Organic Valley, probably because I read something years ago about how it's fairer to farmers, Whether that's true now, or was ever, I know not. Milk...check.

For bread? A loaf of local, from somewhere called "Steph's Cake Shop" in Rockaway. Why? Well, it's shaped like actual baked bread...with the tiny bits on the end that get wider towards the center. Steph is probably a woman, and I like women. And not too many ingredients. Real sugar. So bread...check.

Ah but now the hard part. The eggs. Mrs. Flatbed is a fan of hens living their lives in relatively natural surroundings, better to lay eggs in, and better on my conscience. And though I have no idea WHAT-SO-EVER what a hen really likes (social life? down time? the occasional shvitz?) I go with the packaging that makes me feel like I've made a moral consumer choice. The Sauder's. Because...well...let's take a look shall we?

Now don't those chickens look happy? And that word "Amish." Nothing Amish could be bad, right? And the silhouette of a buggy and horse? Surely these must be the HAPPIEST CHICKENS EVER, right?

Here's the thing though. The farms themselves aren't Amish. Rather, it says "Direct From Amish Country" in PA and OH. So these chickens were perhaps a buggy ride away from the Amish, but not necessarily pious themselves.

It gets better.

You see, these organic medium eggs come LITERALLY from "Hens Who Enjoy the Outdoors!" I won't quibble with the fact that some hens may NOT enjoy the outdoors and merely feel forced to head outside by coercion and peer pressure. But the statement implies that the hens spend a great deal of time basking in the Amish sun, does it not? But it doesn't actually say that. It could, in fact, mean that the hens enjoy the outdoors but NEVER GET TO GO. Language, as they say, is important.

Let's resolve this difficult quandary once and for all. Did you know that there's an incredible website that does the fact-checking for you? Go to And here-on you will find all manner of facts regarding the relative decency of organic farmers all over the country. Here's the eggs page.

How does Sauder's do on the survey? Miserably. As is so often the case, the packaging is a lie, a fabrication, a sham, a bait and switch. Remember when 45 said he'd replace Obamacare with something WAY better? It's true folks. Fully 40% of your countrymen are complete and utter assholes. You probably already suspected it. But now, it's official.

And the eggs? They taste only o.k.