Flatbush Gardens - When Projects Go Private

If this post weren't so odd I'd say I was going for an easy laugh. While technically not in Caledonian Parkside, the Flatbush Gardens apartment complex has fascinated me ever since they started touting it on the subways a couple years ago. I'm guessing you haven't visited it personally, since it's a 20 minute walks south and east of our beloved Q at Parkside. Turns out (and this is definitely NOT news to longtime Flatbushians) it used to be the Vanderveer Projects, and still basically is, save the name change. The Housing Authority sold it, and it's now owned by the same folks who bought Starrett City, another formerly public housing complex gone private. All these Projects look a bit like their famous semi-private cousin Stuy-Town, and in this amazing ad the folks at Clipper Equity actually try to compare Flatbush Gardens favorably to it:


You're probably laughing right now, because as a savvy New Yorker you know damn well that if you want to live cheaper you gotta move farther out and away from the Town and Country subscribers. But what if you were moving to NYC and needed an affordable place to rent, and you saw Flatbush Gardens' fancy website. And you heard Brooklyn was THE place to be. That's the story behind the couple in this incredible video ad. It really has to be seen to be believed. Roll Tape.

The truth about FG is probably a little closer to the abysmal reviews posted here: Apt Ratings. So caveat emptor I guess.

Geeky epilogue:

Y'all know that Stuy-Town was bought for like a trillion dollars by Tishman Speyer. And after a couple years they had to give it up in bankruptcy court. Now, for some reason people have always proudly told how Stuy-Town and other big complexes were NEVER public housing, and that MetLife built them, and don't get them confused with them there P.J's. And technically I suppose it's true. But Robert Moses was behind the whole thing, even putting pressure on MetLife to do it, and there was rent control and tons of City and state regulations protecting the tenants, and when the City's that involved in a public-private partnership, and calling the shots, it's public housing, no matter who's name is on the title. Those days are over. Now, when people talk affordable housing, we're lucky to get a few units of Fedders houses with curbcut parking spaces.

Well, at least they have air conditioning!

Best Meats My Ass

Look y'all. Let's just say it like it is. BEST MEATS on Flatbush stinks, and like I said in my post about Michael's on Nostrand, a butcher should NOT offend the nostrils. I suspect fowl play, or at least poor hygiene, and I don't trust a meat market with the initials B.M. as far as I can smell 'em.

For extra credit, quick...how many oxtails in a case? Can I get a quart of legs to wash that down?

Cincinnati-Brooklyn Axis - Sometimes It All Just Fits Together

I was in Cincinnati for 36 hours on Friday and Saturday. Back in the day, my band used to play there a lot, and we were asked to play a festival. A lesser blogger might use this space to shill for his artsy fartsy rock-n-roll enterprise, but I would never cheapen the Q in that way. For sake of argument, let's just say the group's name rhymes with Gabe the True Lox.

I had a chance to walk all around the downtown area, and bear witness to the much-trumpeted renaissance of the historically significant Over-the-Rhine neighborhood. The story of OTR is painfully familiar...city expands; needs immigrant labor to expand (in this case German); immigrants assimilate and become middle-class; fearing integration whites flee for the suburbs; urban poor community suffers social breakdown; neighborhood becomes drug-laden, crime-ridden and run-down; after many years the children and grandchildren of some of those first immigrants move back to town; gentrification takes hold in earnest...this is true of countless cities and neighborhoods across the country. In fact, two weeks ago I spent the weekend in Philadelphia, and a very Harlem/Bed-Stuy kinda gentrification thing has happened in West Philly...hell, Brownstoner has a whole section devoted to West Philly, an odd thing if you haven't been there to see it in action.

But you know the deal. I ain't saying nothing new. I've seen the G.D. (gentrification dance) many, many times in NYC...and I've only been here 20 years!

But I did have an epiphany of sorts. Awhile back I posted about Reuven Lifkind, the guy in Senator Eric Adams office. He and I were talking about how just a few bad apples spoil a whole block - drug dealers, gang members, junkies, Lutherans etc... He said that what you have to do is make life difficult for troublemakers and they move somewhere else. I concurred...let 'em go where they're tolerated. Hmmm.

But that's the problem isn't it? By making my problem someone else's problem I really haven't "solved" anything. Drug dealers are here on my street partly because they're not tolerated someplace else!

After my trip to OTR Cincinnati, some THINGS felt important for me to ponder, as I internalize what I've learned. Like:

Thing One: After living on Clarkson Ave for more than 7 years, I feel very attached to my neighborhood AND its problems. And I don't like people from other places making uninformed statements about this here "Other Side of the Park." But I should have some compassion...those people were me once. I was notorious for my strong opinions about things I had only heard rumors about. (Like the City school system. As if I'd ever been to a NYC public school, met a teacher OR a kid who went to one. As a matter of fact, despite all the belly aching by politicians, there's some damn good education being delivered here, though you gotta be an edumacated consumer.)

Thing Two: During the 1990s, OTR saw a grass-roots rebirth take place. It was happening slowly, and there was a sense that it was also happening organically. One landlord sold, a brave outsider bought. People started to take notice, and that G.D. started to happen. Yes, the poorest residents started to get displaced, but it was building by building, and for the law-abiding, section 8 housing was available elsewhere. Actually quite a bit of it was available, and some of those neighborhoods, while less conveniently located, were safer and more amenable to families. Not perfect, but the G.D. was somewhat sane.

Thing Three: Just a few months before 9/11, a scared Cinci cop shot a kid - and his name just happened to be mine - Timothy Thomas. This was the last straw for OTR residents, who responded first with loud protests, and then the worst urban riots (or uprising if you prefer) since L.A. in '92. The G.D. was over, and even longtime black residents got the hell out of Dodge, leaving half the neighborhood abandoned.

Thing Four: The city of Cincinnati reacted to this "opportunity" by creating 3CDC, a non-profit funded by the City's elite. Its Board is a who's who in Porkopolis (they actually used to call it that, referring to its hog industry). I'll spare you the details and cut to the chase - 3CDC acts like a government (though it's not accountable to voters), buying up land, deciding who can develop, and most importantly, making sure that gentrification takes hold to stay - and in the "right" way. And guess what? When you put that kind of muscle behind the G.D., you get results - fast and furious. That's what I saw on display this weekend. Even an old drinkin' buddy got a bunch of tax breaks to open up a snazzy, um, Brooklyn style bar.

Thing Five: This here photo isn't of OTR. It's that building at the intersection of Rutland and Flatbush.



Care to dance?

Perfect Opportunity for All Three Little Pigs

Our crystal ball is on the fritz, so we anxiously await the fate of the three "Dutch Colonial" houses halfway down the southside of the block. Not long ago, they were up for sale as a threesome, and the intention was obviously to find a developer to raze them and build apartment houses. That could be fine...just as long as they aren't more of the godawful "Fedders" style curb cut monstrosities being built all over town (most notably at the corner of Bedford and Parkside. Mrs. Clarkson FlatBed still becomes noticeably upset when we walk anywhere near that corner.)

But the houses are really quite lovely as is. The current renters have taken wonderful care of the gardens, and while I'm sure the interiors need some updating, you really can't beat the price (mid 700s) to be so close to our beloved side of Prospect Park. However, I gotta call out Audrey and Bette (the agents) for these two lines from their ad:

"The viable and trendy neighborhood is now a destination for so many people in search of excellent apartment house living...also within close proximity to shopping and all the new cool spots" from the NY Times ad.

I'm not above a little healthy hyperbole. And I love my block! But trendy it ain't. And if by "all the cool new spots" you mean the Dunkin' Donuts and Wigs R Us, well then I guess you've got a point. They might be referring to Lincoln Road, or Cortelyou, neither of which do much for this ex-hipster, which, by the way, I don't think they called us in the day. "Arts-fartsy types" was the more frequent epithet.

Then again, what IS trendy? If trendy means affordable, then Parkside Caledonia might be well be the trendiest, most "viable" neighborhood around.

And which of these definitions of "viable" are they using anyway?

1. Capable of living, developing, or germinating under favorable conditions.
2. Capable of living outside the uterus. Used of a fetus or newborn.
3. Capable of success or continuing effectiveness; practicable:

311 and 205

Hey gang. 205 Parkside has been a blight on Parkside Lefferts Gardens Caledonia Southeast Prospect Park for more than two decades. Don't you think it's time we said enough is enough? This flyer was posted on the building this morning:



If you'll recall, a clever neighbor advertised the rathole for free and inconvenienced poor Moses Fried for a whole week. Free 205 Parkside.

Now Fried and Tepper have scaffolding up to answer a violation, and if the past is any gauge, it will be up for a long, long time. Already it's attracting trouble -- riff-raff using it as a makeshift shelter and cocktail lounge. Add that to Pioneer's malodorous bottle deposit station, the area around the Q at Parkside is starting to feel like like an homage to the City's glory years.

The squeaky wheel always gets the grease. Let's start squeaking.

Call 311 and complain to the dept of buildings. Call Pearl Miles et al at Community Board 9 718-778-9279 (they respond better to phone calls than emails) or call Reuven Lipkind at State Senator Eric Adams office 718-284-4700. You can email eadams@senate.state.ny.us.

And if you see Moses, tell him the Q sends his love.

What I Saw in the Morn on Hawthorne

I think it's fair to say that the Hawthorne Street Block Party was the bomb. Free sno-cones and cotton candy provided by some very sweet and fashionable post-grads,a puppet show with more imagination than the average Shari and Lambchop, a killer DJ with well-chosen loud but not tinnitus-inducing music, kids dancing, lemonade stand, Book Mobile...only bummer was that Yom Kippur meant it was Jew-less. Next year in Lefferts!

Here's a video that captures the spirit:

Tubleweeds Next for Flatbush Avenue?

Is our major commercial hub turning into a ghost town before our eyes? There's always been lots of turnover on the FECMA corridor (that's Flatbush from Empire to Clarkson Merchants Association and no, I didn't make it up.) In the past couple weeks, stores are going vacant by the truckload, particularly South of Flatbush Supermarket Associated (SoFlatSuperAss). Witness:

VD Gang comes to Parkside

I gotta say, I'm no expert Gang Cryptologist. But I have a guess as to what's going on with some of this new graffiti showing up around Lefferts Parkside. Witness:

When a letter gets a strike through like the V here, it means "kill." Sometimes literally, but usually its just talk. Er, chalk. Paint. Whatever.

So it looks like someone's threatening the VD Gang - which was hardly the Latin Kings. It was a recurring Sesame Street parody sketch on the Dave Chappelle show. So I'm thinking, or maybe hoping is a better word, that this is what we'd call a Gang Graffiti Guffaw - a Triple G to the Crips. Either that or there's gonna be a rumble. And I'm hoping Crips don't read goofy blogs...I mean no disrespect fellas.

Double Rainbow? Try Double POST!!

Most days in Caledonian Parkside Gardens are bipolar. A little dab of agony, and a little dollop of ecstasy. Case in point, two pictures that pretty much say it all. Up first, agony at the community garden next to the Q at Umma Park:



After a good cry, Little Q and I lit up when we saw this sign festooned upon a post:


To C&C et al I say Zol zion mit Mazel!! (I think that means good luck -- I was born Midwestern Lutheran, so my Yiddish is a tad weak)

color me imPRESSED

When we first moved to "Parkside," we tried the French Cleaners on Parkside - aptly named Parkside Cleaners, whose owners, I might add, are only posing as French. But I gotta say PC came up wanting, and not simply because of their insistence on sticking with that poorly maintained handpainted sign (shouldn't cleaners be paying more attention to detail?). It wasn't long before Mrs. Clarkson FlatBed, always the more fashionable, kempt and comely of the pair, discovered a strong alternative to P.C. on Flatbush near Fennimore. The folks at ACE are super swell, though they too are decidedly un-French. They are, in fact, Korean. By the by, "french" cleaning and "dry" cleaning are exactly the same thing, and anyone who says differently is a braying baudet.

Tim, pictured here, is the amiable shopkeep. His folks are very sweet and industrious first generation immigrants, and they work side-by-side their second-born son. They own another shop in Staten Island, manned by Tim's brother. So the second generation is in on the act. Ace gets a thumbs up from us, for style and substance. Though I urge you to post your own recommendations anytime.

But wait...here's what the Q asks that you ponder today...the meaning of "first generation" immigrant. To some, it refers to the immigrants themselves. But to others, it means their kids. My grandparents came from the "old country." But my pops was referred to as either first or second generation, depending on whom you asked.

So which is it? Turns out there is no consensus, and that strange bit of trivia is anxiety-reducing for me. The reason I never knew which to use is that the whole English language is bipartisan on the issue. Maybe republicans say one and democrats the other? Oh and tea-partiers would rather the whole lot of 'em pack for home.

Though I ask these neo-patriots - "who's going to do your cleaning, landscaping, building, farming, nannying and cab driving if you kick out the immigrants? Maybe instead of protesting taxes all the time you'll have to do a bit of honest work." Snap!