The Q at Parkside

(for those for whom the Parkside Q is their hometrain)

News and Nonsense from the Brooklyn neighborhood of Lefferts and environs, or more specifically a neighborhood once known as Melrose Park. Sometimes called Lefferts Gardens. Or Prospect-Lefferts Gardens. Or PLG. Or North Flatbush. Or Caledonia (west of Ocean). Or West Pigtown. Across From Park Slope. Under Crown Heights. Near Drummer's Grove. The Side of the Park With the McDonalds. Jackie Robinson Town. Home of Lefferts Manor. West Wingate. Near Kings County Hospital. Or if you're coming from the airport in taxi, maybe just Flatbush is best.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Which Dunker are YOU? And have you seen them eggs, Eggs?

Love it or loathe it, the DD has become a part of Caledonian Flatbush mercantile culture. You can get a decent cup of coffee, fast, and little Miss Clarkson Flatbed Jr. loves the croissants, which (and please, don't tell her) are perhaps the worst croissants you can purchase west, or east, of Paris. That's cool...it's a place to hang when you need one, and the price is fair, the colors are bright, and it's generally clean. The workers are efficient and pleasant. But when confronted with the following cynical graphic on the divider as you place your order:
I gotta say I do a double-take everytime. I mean...I get it. You (DD) are a corporate entity designed to separate your designated target demographic from its wampum. But do you really need to try to fool me with this blatant call to diversity? I get the uniformed lady of color, the white mother with stroller, the tanned business man with briefcase, the funky black lady rocker, the "Joe Six-Pack" white guy with a lunch pail...but who's that other white guy? He's got a cap and jacket, hand in his pocket (a firearm?), a ridiculously large beverage (seriously as long as his torso) and a military length haircut w baby sideburns. What demo is this guy? Hunter? White Supremacist? Pedophile? I'm open to suggestions.


And don't forget the latest reason to drop in to the DD for breakfast:


That's right. The Big 'n' Toasty (not "tasty" as I first thought, which, ironically of course, it TOTALLY is).

Before you drop your last few duckets on one of these delicious looking sammiches, however, consider this. There is no "grill" on which these eggs or bacon are made. Remember, Dunkin Donuts is a "Bake Place," not an actual bakery or restaurant. Heat is the primary (dare I say only?) activity taking place here. And those two "eggs" so perfectly shaped and colored beneath your Big Toasts? More than likely they are prepackaged pre-made egg products like this here: Eggs?

Technically, those eggs are made of the same ingredients as actual eggs from the chicken - plus a few bonus ingredients. So it's actually MORE than eggs (which they could sing as a new theme song, to the tune of Roxy Music's "More Than This")

Bon Appetit!

4 comments:

S said...

This is actually a profiling test used by the FBI. The correct answer is "C" - the woman with the baby carriage is the terrorist.

The giveaway is that she has a baby carriage that has no infant.

Anonymous said...

That dude is most definitely an under cover cop!

eggs! said...

dude, this place sucks. why do you go here?

whats up with some coverage on how both phat alberts are closing?

Ugarles said...

Eggs at Dunkin' Donuts are fresh... and microwaved in a mold, which is why they have that perfect shape.