Hamilton Blues

You're on the run, grabbing some doubles and roti and a bottle of Ting, not a second to spare to get back home for the final episode of "So You Think You Can Fish" when you reach into your purse or pocket and realize you spent your last ten spot on a decaf double macchiato. With just $15 in your checking account, you figure you're screwed. But look! It's a miracle!!:



You can pull out a sawbuck, tip your Trinidadian chef and be home in time for the first drop of a lure.

While the above scenario has probably happened to you a dozen times, I'd like to remind us all how totally predatory it all is. Not the fishing, mind you. The ATM machine in question wants $3.00 for the privilege of giving you your Hamilton. Since presumably this plastic ATM model GE7459 is not a branch of your regular bank, your actual financial institution will charge an average of $2.00 for your cheating on it with another machine. Folks, that a 50% charge for YOUR money.

Of course this doesn't run afoul of New York's usury laws. Even though it is illegal for someone to charge you more than 16% annual interest for a loan, the perverse situation in question is actually the opposite. You're being charged for YOUR money. Guess the mattress is looking pretty good right now.

Maybe cash deters bedbugs?

Know Thy Neighbor - Celeste Lacy Davis

In a series I'm calling Know Thy Neighbor, I'm embarking on an experiment to get to know y'all better. The rules are simple: to be profiled, you must live or work in the greater North Flatbush area. The boundaries are somewhat malleable, but for sake of simplicity let's say Empire to the North, New York to the East, Church to the South, and Parade Grounds or PP Park to the West. Some might ask why I feel the need to include such a large swath of territory, but to those who've come to call this neck of the woods home, I think you'll see the logic. If not...start your own damn blog! Each person I profile will suggest another profilee, so I don't end up profiling ONLY people I know or meet myself. Sound fair? Let's go!

Yesterday I spent the better part of the afternoon with a fascinating woman named Celeste Lacy Davis. Celeste owns one of the glorious limestone townhouses along Ocean Avenue. She and her neighbors recently won landmark status for their homes - the Ocean on the Park District. It's made up of the 9 remaining houses; had it not been for their work, the area might soon have been a giant construction site a la the apartment building going up to their north.

Say hello to Celeste, pictured here this afternoon in front of her gorgeous home:
Her story has more twists and turns than the Cyclone, but as one hears the narrative of her life unfold, there's a certain circuitous logic to it all. A lifelong New Yorker, Celeste's mother was a guiding force in her budding activism. She's tells a great story of how her misbehaving led to being dragged by her mom to the 1964 Democratic Convention, and she joined the Civil Rights struggle in earnest from that day forward. She took another "left" turn while at Syracuse University and by the early 70's, she was running with the colorful and charismatic characters of the day. She and her husband had a wonderful baby girl named Njemile, and in many ways Celeste's activist life tracked the great convulsions of late 20th Century world politics. As she put it, those were heady times.

A bit of disillusionment later, Celeste found herself looking at an odd advertisement from The New School that said "How to Become a Lawyer in 6 Sessions - $35." Apparently the course was well taught, because within a few years she had graduated CUNY Law -- public interest law of course. Doors opened wide for her in litigation, advocacy and academia. Among her proudest achievements was her work for Planned Parenthood preparing the fabled PP vs. Casey, which narrowly saved the gist of Roe v Wade before a decidedly conservative Supreme Court. She met and worked with many of her heroes through the years. Perhaps inevitably though, she found that many people don't live up to standards of their ideals, including people dedicated to social justice. That tough lesson hardly deters her from her deeply held convictions in the power of people to create change through solidarity.

From 1988 she's been a proud resident of PLG. She shares the unease of some longtime residents regarding changes in the neighborhood, but she knows that she too was once the newcomer. We both commiserated on how some new folks don't want to engage with their neighbors. Eye contact, anyone? Nothing wrong with saying howdy; the worst that can happen is puzzled indifference. And she emphasizes that the story of PLG is NOT equivalent to the story of Lefferts Manor. While she harbors no ill will to the Manor, she feels its important to recognize that the neighborhood should be and feel more inclusive than just the "Lefferts Covenant" area designated by the City. My feeling is, if the Q at Parkside is your hometrain, you're my neighbor, neighbor. And for the sake of togetherness, even you Lincoln Roadsters feel like extended family! (Don't forget to send holiday cards this year.)

Beyond her leadership roles at non-profits, Celeste started a gallery out of her home called the Imarisha Art House that hosted a number of highly regarded shows in the late '90's early 00's. In fact her beautiful parlor floor, a doctor's office once, is still set up as a gallery. As we spoke in the back of that floor you could hear the rumble of our beloved Q/B behind her house. There have been some rough spots in her life lately, but some very cool stuff is on the horizon. Stay tuned. Celeste Lacy Davis is just getting started, y'all.

New Q at Parkside Feature! ASK BOB!!

I don't know if you all know Bob Marvin, but he's a delightfully ubiquitous presence on the blogosphere and a wonderful booster for all things PLG. Regarding my post the other night about a mysterious old sign touting a PLGNA Security Patrol he had this to say:

"There was indeed a PLGNA Security Patrol in the late '70s--early '80s. IIRC they got a grant to buy (or lease) a van to patrol in. It seems to have been organized as a response to the far more active and long-lived CNIS (Committee for Neighborhood Improvement and Safety) which existed from the late '70s through the early or mid '90s. CNIS was an organization that paid for a professional patrol, using various security companies over the years. It covered (IIRC) all of Lefferts Manor plus Parkside, between Flatbush & Bedford and, possibly a few other blocks.

When it started CNIS needed half of the residents in their coverage area to subscribe (at $200/household/year--a substantial sum 30+ years ago). For that price you got a security patrol, monitoring of home burglar alarms, and separate car that took people home from the Lincoln Road subway station (for which there was an additional charge, after the first few years). Subscribers got a door sticker and a special red light to put in their windows, but everyone on the covered blocks benefited from the patrol.

You ask whether this security function was something the NYPD should have done. Of course (minus the car service from the subway) it should have, but these were the days following NYC's "Fiscal Crisis"--a near brush with municipal bankruptcy--which led to lots of cutbacks in all services. There was a considerable increase in street crime and burglaries. When I moved to PLG in 1974 it was safe--far safer than Park Slope, where I had lived earlier (although some of my South Slope neighbors, from whom I was glad to escape, were no doubt reassured that their local thugs were white :-) ). A few years later PLG was still relatively safe but, especially in the aftermath of the violent looting following the '77 blackout, people were getting scared.

By the early '90s conditions had greatly improved (IMO due largely to the Dinkins administration's "community policing") and it became increasingly difficult to collect the money for an expensive operation like CNIS, leading to the organization's being disbanded."

editor's note: BTW, If I recall correctly, IIRC stands for "If I recall correctly."

Neighborhood Teen Goes Missing: Seen him?

One of our young male neighbors has disappeared and police need our help. I know it's a longshot, but it's breaking my heart, so here goes:



The NYPD is asking for the public's help finding Ricardo Jean-Pharuns, 17, of 475 Ocean Avenue, Brooklyn. He was last seen on November 5 at 283 Adams Street, Brooklyn, wearing a blue shirt, black pants, and black sneakers. He is described as 5'7" and 150 pounds. If you have any information as to his whereabouts, please call Crime Stoppers at 1-800-577-TIPS (8477). All calls are strictly confidential.

Crime Held at Bay by Rusty Sign

Now that time is back to its natural state, unburdened by the legislated extra hour known as DST, winter is truly here. Screw what the calendar says. The Q says it started today, with sleet slowing the subways and the cruel dark night greeting us as we emerged out of the Q at Parkside. Settle in folks, it's time to get cozy.

The early eve light revealed one curiosity however. Take a peek at this old sign on Flatbush between Parkside and Winthrop:
One of you "old-timers" has got to help me out here. I'm pretty sure this says "This Area Patrolled by Prospect Lefferts Gardens Neighborhood Association Security Patrol." Love that graphic! The sun, cloud and snowflake really complete the picture. But what the Sam Hill is going on here? Was there really a PLeGNA Security Patrol at some point? And what happened to them? Or was this sign an idle threat meant to scare away the more timid gangsters and thieves?

(I trust you all attended PLeGNA's General Meeting tonight at the Church of the Evangel. I couldn't go - I had Little Miss FlatBed and darned if she's not quite ready to behave in accordance with Robert's Rules.)

So I leave the comments open to you with some questions for your input:

1. Was there really a PLeGNA nabe patrol?
2. Isn't that what the cops are supposed to do de rigeur?
3. Do the drug dealers on my block drive a Ford Taurus to throw us off? Or are they just really inept drug dealers who can't afford a nicer car?
4. Is Seven Brothers discount store really owned by seven brothers? Cuz I only ever see two, and I don't think it's named after the Finnish novel by Aleksis Kivi or the delightful MGM musical from the 1950's.

In an Earthquake, Heads will Roll

How many people get to see this each time they walk out their door and round the corner? There's something eerie about all those heads - the lighting is super-bright, and there's a wig-helper-lady standing at the door, ready to help you with all your wigging needs. She wears that little apron, and I wonder what she keeps in its pockets. And are synthetic "half-wigs" for people who are "half-bald?" Of course I could just go in and ask, but I don't want to kill the mystery of this place, near as it is to the Sneaker King. Speaking of sneaking, remember the blackout from 2003? That night, hooligans looted the Sneaker King...almost no other store was touched. Makes sense really. Shoes are among those things that retain much of their value out on the street. From our back window you could hear kids running through the alley, one saying "I got enough for the WHOLE year!" How many pairs do you suppose that was? I haven't a clue.

Speaking of one-year spans, I'm so sick of that "Year of..." fad in nonfiction. You know what I mean. The author sets out to do something unusual for a whole year, and apparently that's reason enough to land a book deal. "The Year of Eating Dangerously," "The Year of No Carbon Footprint," "The Year of No Internet" (really? that counts?), "The Year of Using No Buttons or Zippers, only Velcro" and what have you. I've got one though. "The Year of Never Leaving Caledonian Flatbush." Really, it's all here. Hell you could live your whole life and never travel more than two or three blocks in any direction. I'm not saying it would be a particularly fulfilling life, but you could get all of life's essentials within a few hundred feet. You'd need a job, of course. Maybe Gem is hiring?

Speaking of the Gem, Merry Christmas! Judging by its window display and the decorations along Flatbush, Christmas must be any day now...

First Class Security

Ever look up? When I first came to NYC 23 years ago I did my best not to set my gaze to the heavens, for fear of being branded a tourist. These days, I could give a rat's ass, and I notice stuff all the time. Like the above NYPD security camera. Where would YOU put one? If you guessed right outside "First Class Liquors" on Flatbush between Parkside and Winthrop, you guessed right. But did you really know it was called First Class Liquors? It's pretty much a single malt scotch joint, so they got the name right.

Who's watching that thing? Or are they just recording in case something "goes down?" Call me crazy, but I'd rather see some of the blue uniforms in person than know some snoring cop is watching a few miles away. And have you noticed how young the new cops look? Were they always that young and I just got older? There was a really tall and super skinny cop at the Q at Parkside the other night. I didn't mean to, but I burst out laughing. Seriously, he was pale white and maybe 6' 7" and his hips could barely hold up his holster. I'm pretty sure those were acne scars too. He was with a really pretty black woman cop, and the two made such a hilarious couple I wanted to write a godawful Hollywood screenplay about them. "When Foxy Met Gomer" I'd call it.

Let me know where the other security cameras are, so I'll know where not to stand when I'm selling my cracks. And speaking of looking up, how much money is in it for landlords when they sell rooftop space for cell transmitters like this?

Ladies and Gentleman, Speaker Boehner.

I have absolutely nothing to say about the election, but thank God it's over. At least you got here, to the Q, safe and sound.

BONUS, JUST FOR VISITING! A NY Times article about Lefferts from 1986 is a must read for anyone with native curiosity beyond what's for dinner tonight: If You're Thinking of Living In 1986. Note that prices had recently tripled according to a local real estate dude, tripled meaning houses for around $150K, apartments on Ocean from $50K. And for those not old enough to remember, that was during the big runup before the turn of big housing correction of that era. And here's the best part: the article says Donald Trump owned (and probably developed) Patio Gardens! What a hoot. (You old-timer knew that already, but that's a yarn worth repeating)

What I really wanted to show you though was this poster that I saw a lady put up in the laundromat window (on Flatbush near the Bright Red Liquor Store): It seemed kinda sad to me at first. But then I recently read that a quarter of couples meet online - so why not finish how you started?

Meet Your Losers

Live Blogging of Election Coverage - Right Here on the Q!

10:05 PM: Well, election results are coming in fast and furious. I'll let the professional pundits handle the obvious races, but here at the Q we take a deeper look at issues that concern us all, including the tightly contested races for US Congress, State Senate and the NY State Assembly. While races are still too close to call, the Q is prepared to project the following winners in races affecting our blogging area:

US Congress: With just 0% of the Precincts reporting, we're prepared to go out on a limb and predict Yvette Clarke will win another term in NY 11th district. By varying accounts, she was either not contested or contested by some perennial Republican/Conservative fall guy named Hugh C. Carr. Mr. Carr has no website, doesn't come up at the top of Google, has no picture and submitted no positions to any of the major election guides.

NY State Senate (District 20): With 103% of Precincts reporting, I gotta give this one to Eric Adams. I'll admit to being biased here, because I love the video he made about sagging pants: saggy pants video. Adams has a bright future ahead of him, but tonight he was nearly derailed by Allan E. Romaguera, a bright young star in the chump-on-the-stump circuit. Once again, NO information is available on this guy, and I can't find a picture. Do I spot a trend emerging? Might it be that the Conservative Party puts up front candidates, maybe even pays them, to garner enough votes to keep themselves on the ticket? Man that's big. If I wasn't such a lazy-ass blogger I might have a big scoop here.

NY Assembly District 43: Not so fast! This sacrificial lamb is an actual human being by the name of Menachem M. Raitport, and he's a butcher, making the sacrificial lamb metaphor remarkably well-suited. Despite the fact that he's a Lubavitcher from Crown Heights, he was pummeled by Karim Camara, a minister, even among his own Chosen People. Folks from our area called him a stand-up guy, but apparently he's just not Jewish enough to command support from local synagogues. Mazel Tov, Reverend!

NY Assembly District 42: Technically this is beyond my reach, since it's the heart of Caledonia (West of Flatbush), but the Q projects longtime fighter for the 42nd Rhoda Jacobs to return to the Chamber after defeating Conservative/Republican candidate Alan Kesler. Kesler is apparently a real person also, and he won the backing of the Midwood branch of the Brooklyn Young Republicans, a hilarious group known for its conspicuous use of the color orange on its website: BYR. Good luck getting laid guys.

Well that'll be my last post of the evening. I'm sorry I couldn't get any pictures of the loser candidates, and I hate a blog post without a picture. So here's a picture of the North American Jackalope:

Coop Conundrum

I'll cut to the chase here. I've been a coop member for over 10 years. That's including the 7 I've lived here in the Flatbush Gardens of Lefferts. I have no car, and couldn't afford my mortgage if I had one. But I've never once felt that the Coop was too far or inconvenient. I've found plenty of other reasons to complain about the Coop, but that's never been on my list. Why? I'll show you why...


Next to my wife and daughter, these are my two best buddies. It used to be Q over B41, but now that the limited stops at 7th avenue, it's like Cake or Pie...I just can't decide which I like better.

I was surprised then to learn about the Lefferts Community Food Coop. Don't get me wrong - I think it's great that more people want to get into the whole "know thy food" scene, and it would be amazing to have a joint just a jaunt away. But create a whole coop? Man, that takes gumption. The PSFC has grown organically (hee hee) over nearly 40 years - not without a lot of blood, sweat and tears. The founders and early members ate, drank and slept Coop so that the 15,000 current members can bitch about having to do a fairly pleasant 2 3/4 workslot once a month. You see, here's the little secret that nobody tells you. The VAST majority of Coop members have few or no complaints, enjoy doing their shifts, and get only one make up if they miss a shift because they're on good terms with their squad leader. They love the food, chat leisurely in line, learn about the crazy amazing fresh produce, and joke about the goofy chaos that is now a $40 million a year business but STILL doesn't take credit cards and takes principled stands on things that matter and don't matter and is only now getting rid of its tens of thousands of embarrassing outdated index cards that were often the final arbiter of whether you were suspended or not. And so friggin' what...you get suspended? you work a shift! Big deal. That's the secret. Only the most vocal, selfish and lazy people spend their time complaining ad nauseum. And frankly, we didn't want those douchebags crowding our aisles anyway. If you can afford $10 for a small bag of organic turnips then be my guest - Union Market's owners send their kids to Dalton off folks like you! (Actually, they're apparently really nice people whose kids go to Community Roots public school...and I live in a glass house like Billy Joel, so I shouldn't be throwin' stones. Still...)

I love being bitchy! But that's not my natural state, so let me get back to the point. If you live here, or want to live here, but want to be part of the PSFC...it's easy as a drunken fratboy. The Q or B41 will get you there in 15 minutes. If you do a big shop, ask for a walker who'll take you right to the stop/station by the American Apparel. Or you could always call a car service if you don't have the muscles for even a short schlep.

Speaking of AmAp...I had my first daddy nightmare. Little Mrs. Flatbed (she's 18 months now) comes home one day after high school band practice and announces that she's going to pose as an American Apparel model. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!