10:05 PM: Well, election results are coming in fast and furious. I'll let the professional pundits handle the obvious races, but here at the Q we take a deeper look at issues that concern us all, including the tightly contested races for US Congress, State Senate and the NY State Assembly. While races are still too close to call, the Q is prepared to project the following winners in races affecting our blogging area:
US Congress: With just 0% of the Precincts reporting, we're prepared to go out on a limb and predict Yvette Clarke will win another term in NY 11th district. By varying accounts, she was either not contested or contested by some perennial Republican/Conservative fall guy named Hugh C. Carr. Mr. Carr has no website, doesn't come up at the top of Google, has no picture and submitted no positions to any of the major election guides.
NY State Senate (District 20): With 103% of Precincts reporting, I gotta give this one to Eric Adams. I'll admit to being biased here, because I love the video he made about sagging pants: saggy pants video. Adams has a bright future ahead of him, but tonight he was nearly derailed by Allan E. Romaguera, a bright young star in the chump-on-the-stump circuit. Once again, NO information is available on this guy, and I can't find a picture. Do I spot a trend emerging? Might it be that the Conservative Party puts up front candidates, maybe even pays them, to garner enough votes to keep themselves on the ticket? Man that's big. If I wasn't such a lazy-ass blogger I might have a big scoop here.
NY Assembly District 43: Not so fast! This sacrificial lamb is an actual human being by the name of Menachem M. Raitport, and he's a butcher, making the sacrificial lamb metaphor remarkably well-suited. Despite the fact that he's a Lubavitcher from Crown Heights, he was pummeled by Karim Camara, a minister, even among his own Chosen People. Folks from our area called him a stand-up guy, but apparently he's just not Jewish enough to command support from local synagogues. Mazel Tov, Reverend!
NY Assembly District 42: Technically this is beyond my reach, since it's the heart of Caledonia (West of Flatbush), but the Q projects longtime fighter for the 42nd Rhoda Jacobs to return to the Chamber after defeating Conservative/Republican candidate Alan Kesler. Kesler is apparently a real person also, and he won the backing of the Midwood branch of the Brooklyn Young Republicans, a hilarious group known for its conspicuous use of the color orange on its website: BYR. Good luck getting laid guys.
Well that'll be my last post of the evening. I'm sorry I couldn't get any pictures of the loser candidates, and I hate a blog post without a picture. So here's a picture of the North American Jackalope:
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