Kreations' Kuts KO Kompetition

Out of habit I've been going to the same barbers for a few years. My wife told me awhile back it was "time to make a relationship with a barber." This was after one too many of her hack jobs, after which my gratitude was not suitably overflowing. The Q was allergic to haircuts prior to his 30th birthday, so it's fair to say he's fairly new to the whole spend money to deal with your hair thing. The $15 cut from Park Slope Barbers always seemed fair; the ambiance was pure 1950s, and the music was always spot on apropos. I could never tell the two brothers apart; one could cut hair pretty good and carry a tune, and the other could do neither. So it was a crap shoot every time I went in there. They love Nat King Cole and Sam Cooke...the brother who could carry a tune has the strangest singing impediment I've ever heard. He anticipates the record by about two beats, so he's constantly singing the line BEFORE the singer on the record. Very disarming. But cute, in a $15 haircut kinda way.

But I feel silly getting my white hair cut by mediocre white guys way across the park when I live right off Scissor Alley. So at 9PM tonight I set out for Dr. Cuts up past the Sushi joint, figuring that even if the Doctor wasn't in, at least I could find out if he takes my insurance. On my way there, though, I passed by this place:



There were three guys in there and a little boy, maybe four years old, in one of the barber chairs getting ALL his hair taken off. I mean bald. I know that's a look and everything, but it kinda blew my mind. But here's what finally sealed the deal. They were all looking up at the TV which was blasting an Eminem video (My Name is...My Name is...). I figured that was a sign from the Hair Gods, and I sauntered in.

Barber number 2 seemed ready to rumble, and I sat down at his chair. We exchanged pleasantries, me with my slight drawl, he with his Jamaican (maybe Grenadian) lilt. I said "funny you guys pumping the Eminem" and he joked "just for you." From that moment I knew I was in good hands. When he told me a straight cut was $12 (going rate around here) I had nothing to lose, and at the very least I'll get to watch some videos (Fuse was playing a Top 20 of Eminem Videos - like I even knew he had that many singles!).

Y'all he spent nearly an hour on my head. I gave him a $20 and said keep the change, because frankly, I had more fun sitting in that chair watching whacked out Dre & Em videos and watching one kid after another get his hair did (isn't it a school night?) than the last five years of Kuts Kombined. I may have to try the Dr. (Cuts, not Dre) next time just for due diligence. But I'm sold. Lest you think I jest, here's the before and after: