According to reliable sources, a satellite of mothership "Phat Albert's Warehouse" is closing. Look for closeout sales in the coming days. Or not. But could this spell hard times for the parent company?
Bizarrely, the store that's closing is called Fat Albert Warehouse with an "F." It's over on Clarkson near Rogers. Apparently the owners pheel that the behemoth in the gorgeous old Bond Bakery Building (over on Phlatbush near Empire) is better served by the playful "PH."
However, there's nothing playful or remotely charming about Fat "Phat" Alberts logo. No kidding, this really is how they want you to see them:
My next door neighbor who's lived here much, much longer than I have says there was a time when people really got a thrill out of shopping at the giant Phat's. But no one she knows goes there much anymore. There are so many alternatives, like GEM or the swankier Target (yes I just called Target swanky), that perhaps the grimy, perpetually under-construction Phat's is phinally obsolescent.
Phrankly, should Phat's go, good phuckin' riddance. If you read the Q, you should know that I'm not one to champion wholesale gentrification and change. In phact, I started this blog because I want to see the great parts of this neighborhood - the wonderful rich diversity of people and businesses - survive and even flourish. But phrom the minute I laid eyes on Phat's headquarters 22 years ago, I've hated it with a passion. The building it occupies is a beautiful relic of the old version of this phabled neighborhood, and along with the neglected green Phlatbush trees and the de phacto parking lot disrespectfully used by the MTA - it's the gateway to our homes.
I say it's time phor Phat to phly. Pheel phree to disagree. But please, don't ever, ever let me do that "ph" thing ever, ever again.
The Q at Parkside
News and Nonsense from the Brooklyn neighborhood of Lefferts and environs, or more specifically a neighborhood once known as Melrose Park. Sometimes called Lefferts Gardens. Or Prospect-Lefferts Gardens. Or PLG. Or North Flatbush. Or Caledonia (west of Ocean). Or West Pigtown. Across From Park Slope. Under Crown Heights. Near Drummer's Grove. The Side of the Park With the McDonalds. Jackie Robinson Town. Home of Lefferts Manor. West Wingate. Near Kings County Hospital. Or if you're coming from the airport in taxi, maybe just Flatbush is best.