The Q at Parkside

(for those for whom the Parkside Q is their hometrain)

News and Nonsense from the Brooklyn neighborhood of Lefferts and environs, or more specifically a neighborhood once known as Melrose Park. Sometimes called Lefferts Gardens. Or Prospect-Lefferts Gardens. Or PLG. Or North Flatbush. Or Caledonia (west of Ocean). Or West Pigtown. Across From Park Slope. Under Crown Heights. Near Drummer's Grove. The Side of the Park With the McDonalds. Jackie Robinson Town. Home of Lefferts Manor. West Wingate. Near Kings County Hospital. Or if you're coming from the airport in taxi, maybe just Flatbush is best.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Taking a ride in the Paternity Van, if you know what I mean.

Actually, if you DO know what I mean then you might just live in "Parkside." I love/hate the Dollar vans as much as any "Parkside" resident. (Some call them Gypsy vans, though I don't know why. since I've never seen a person of Roma descent driving one. Come to think of it they haven't been a dollar either, not since the Blackout of '03. Maybe we could just call them Risking-Trip-to-the-Trauma-Center-To-Save-a Quarter vans?).

I love riding in the RTTCSQ vans - the music, the ladies singing along with Mary J. Blige, the thrill of calling out your stop. But...lest you think I'm a terrible father, I would never ever take my daughter in one. And (lest you think I am not a man of honour) I, much like the gentlemen of late 19th century would always walk on the street side of the sidewalk lest a horse come by and splash your lady with mud, I always try to promenade my beloved whilst walking closest to Flatbush, lest a runaway dollar van jumps the curb. Not that I'd be any match for a two-ton over-stuffed Dodge RAM anyway. But at least I'd be first to be decapitated, and that, my friends, is chivalry.

What I really wanted to say here is that I am 100% sure that my baby is my daughter. I've seen pictures of me as a baby, and darned if I didn't look just like her when I was 13 months. And still...when the dollar van comes by (you know the one) that has this ad on the side:

you gotta ask much is it worth to be really, really, really, really, REALLY sure?


Dollar Van Demos said...

Nice post... those ads certainly are everywhere!

babs said...

Only if his father was a vampire...that is one scary-looking baby!