The Q at Parkside

(for those for whom the Parkside Q is their hometrain)

News and Nonsense from the Brooklyn neighborhood of Lefferts and environs, or more specifically a neighborhood once known as Melrose Park. Sometimes called Lefferts Gardens. Or Prospect-Lefferts Gardens. Or PLG. Or North Flatbush. Or Caledonia (west of Ocean). Or West Pigtown. Across From Park Slope. Under Crown Heights. Near Drummer's Grove. The Side of the Park With the McDonalds. Jackie Robinson Town. Home of Lefferts Manor. West Wingate. Near Kings County Hospital. Or if you're coming from the airport in taxi, maybe just Flatbush is best.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Exactly Five Americans Swayed By Debate Enough To Switch Teams

In a live televised confrontation between an Interrupting Bull (IB) and an Intelligent and Qualified Woman (IQW)  last night at Hofstra University, the highly anticipated debate for POTUS was marked by jabs, stabs and outrageous grunts and facial expressions. With such pyrotechnics, it should come as no surprise that as many as five (5) previously committed voters in swing states felt emboldened to switch from Candidate A to Candidate B. Their stories:

1) A gentleman in Des Moines, a registered Republican and longtime manager for an agricultural concern, realized that he could in fact vote for a woman, so long as her demeanor was not too condescending and outfits appropriate for a lady of a certain age. However, he has decided that he won't tell anyone about the switch, not even his dog. (Net two for Hillary Clinton)

2) A Jewish snowbird in Florida remains on the voter rolls, despite her demise in early 2000. Her daughter usually cancels out her own vote for Democrat by voting twice, with the second vote going against the Jewish Floridian majority. This second vote has been for the Republican in honor of her dearly departed mother, whose support of Republicans stemmed from her lifelong support of the candidates least likely to hug an Arab. This year, the surviving daughter plans to vote just once,  under her own name, for the Democrat. She's also pledged to leave a small stone on her mother's grave on the eve of Yom Kippur, then write a touching memoir about the whole affair. (Net one for Hillary Clinton).

3) A college senior from Western Virginia (not to be confused with West Virginia) admitted she had been spoofing pollsters all along and decided to "come clean," saying that she would never vote for anyone who reminded her of her mother and that Trump had a terrific way of putting her mother, or rather Clinton, in her place. (Net two for Donald Trump).

4) A machinist outside of Gary, Indiana realized that the reason he no longer shopped in downtown Gary was not because of his fear of black people. It was because there simply weren't enough people in the Inner Cities watching reruns of his all-time favorite show Law and Order, in particular the early ones with Jerry Orbach. (Net five for NBC).

5) A staunch Bernie-Bro from Madison, WI ended his nearly two-month Breakfast Fast as a futile protest in support of the popular Vermont senator when he realized that only his girlfriend cared whether he ate before noon. The girlfriend had also steadfastly refused to engage in any of the carnal acts until he agreed to a) join her for pancakes and b) hold his nose and vote for "that tool of the establishment" who "basically blows Goldman Sachs bankers" every chance she gets. After careful and thorough consideration of his options, he experienced a super satisfying morning AND a darn sporting evening. (Net two for Hillary Clinton).

Of the nearly 130 million voters expected to turnout in this historic election, last night's debate - universally accepted to be handily won by Clinton - has resulted in a net gain of a couple of votes and the very welcome pledge by both candidates to honor the will of the people this November and NOT plunge the nation, nay, the World, into a crisis of unimaginable consequence.


2 Live Jew said...

Jewish snowbirds in Florida who were 65 yrs and older in 2000 were fiercely democratic, not Republican. Jewish cemeteries are closed on Yom Kippur and other holidays.

Clarkson FlatBed said...

And so it is. The stone is now being placed on the eve, as per custom. And while not ALL Jews voted Democratic, I've adjusted according to your welcome advice. I actually think it quite improves the "hug an Arab" bit.

True story: when I was growing up, I never heard racist jokes or even Polish or religion jokes of any kind. I guess everyone was too Lutheran and polite. The favorite put-down among my "people" was about Norwegians. Substitute "polak" or "dumb blond" and they're basically all the same gags.

Clarkson FlatBed said...

Spoke too soon. I do recall one that involved a Chinese person and urination...

Anonymous said...

Let's see. Hillary said she jetted around negotiating this and that while Secretary of State. And during those heady years of her life the middle east nations of Libya, Tunisia, Egypt, Syria and Yemen became slaughterhouses.

Last night she said she believed that Iran had given up its nuclear ambitions. She should not cough up such silly lies. She also said she believes in income equality. Thus, she revealed her inner communist.

She jabbered nonsensically about "good jobs" that no government can create. And she pretended she doesn't know that violent crime is far more prevalent among blacks and Hispanics compared with whites and Asians.

Moreover, she suggested that people stuck under a crushing load of student loans might receive a free pass. Loan forgiveness on a trillion-dollar level.

These things happen. Carter granted Amnesty to Vietnam War deserters and draft-dodgers. But that didn't cost a trillion dollars. If she were president, it seems likely she'd ask loan defaulters to trade public service for debt reduction. Hence, the taxpayers would get stuck with the tab.

To make things far worse, Hillary is the anti-feminist, a woman who lies to protect her philandering husband. If she were honest and could admit that she and Bill have an open marriage, she gain some points. But lying is her game, though she's not good at it.

Clarkson FlatBed said...

Wow, man. You fail to appreciate the nuance in ANYthing. First, with the last point. Whether or not she could forgive her husband's philandering is really none of your goddam business. Christians are capable of wacky levels of forgiveness, and marriages are complicated things. And I happen to think she's an EXCELLENT liar. How else would she have made it so long at the top of politics?

Btw, lying to protect one's husband is practically guaranteed in the Constitution. It's sad, but wake up to reality dude. Woman have born the brunt of men's bullshit for long enough they have a very different standard of when to cut and run. It has nothing to do with feminism. Women are the true realists, and you should be lucky to find such an intelligent and compassionate wife and mother to your child.

Still licking your wounds from the Carter years? Man, you can really hold a grudge!

Loan forgiveness, as you like to call it, is actually investment in the people and workers of tomorrow. The only reason the forgiveness is even needed is because we've severely underfunded our public universities in the first place.

I'd remind you, too, that many more jobs have been created during Obama's time in office than anyone thought possible, given the dismal state of the economy he inherited. Not bad for an undocumented Kenyan, don't you think?

As for Iran...I don't think anyone yet knows whether the Iran deal is good or bad. But isolating Iran was not going to lead to regime change. If anything it just made their anti-Americanism all the stronger. From my perspective, the sooner we get out of the whole region the better. There is no end to these wars that we can exact or accurately predict. We should continue to try to arrange humanitarian aid and leave it at that. Trump, on the other hand, would help ensure we're at war with the Arab world for at least another 100 years. After which time the Climate Change Deniers will have long since died, and their caskets will have been unearthed and will have floated away after the seas rise.

As for the lying, I suggest you to take a look at the other guy. He seems to be beating her in that department about 100 to 1.

MikeF said...

For those unaware, this Thursday I am gathering local internet posters.

I do it once a quarter, and have for approximately the last 8 years. Here is the link:

babs said...

Wait, Hillary's in an open marriage? I know a few guys who might be into that...

Bob Marvin said...

Drumpf's performance was so poor that even that right wing rag, the NY Post attacked him today. I bet his supporters will have to take their shoes off to count how many votes the Donald lost :-)

Parkdog said...

Who was the first woman to be nominated to be President of the United States?

Parkdog said...

Come on Brooklynites!

ADL said...

Well, I thought it was funny as hell, anyway.

babs said...

Here's the complete list, courtesy of Wikipedia (see, there's this thing called Google, which is now 15 years old):

And I've already voted for a woman President (Lenora Fulani in 1992), so I'm good there. Of course I will be voting for another one on November 8 - Jill Stein.

No spin said...

I am just going to take a guess....Was it Woodhull who "At her peak of political activity in the early 1870s, Woodhull is best known as the first woman candidate for the United States presidency, which she ran for in 1872 from the Equal Rights Party, supporting women's suffrage and equal rights."

I can't believe I remembered that.

Anonymous said...

Babs reinforces her local foolishness - thanks Babs!

Anonymous said...

Clarkson's liberal pieties:

Whether or not she could forgive her husband's philandering is really none of your goddam business.

Yes, it is. She made it the business of voters. Seems you've willfully overlooked her brazen lying on national TV in defense of her husband. As I said, my respect for her would weigh at least an ounce if she were to try a little honesty and admit that she and Bill are a team and their marriage exists outside the conventional zone.

Moreover, I'd bet she's happy he's not pestering her in the sack, not that they ever share the same sack. It's probably been years -- decades -- since they last slid under the blankets together in the same bed and talked about their future. Dreaming, as they undoubtedly did, about having a daughter who would marry the world's worst hedge-fund manager. The embodiment of incompetence. A son-in-law with a father who believed he could collect those millions from the displaced princes and bankers in Nigeria who wrote to inform him of the money sitting there waiting for him to claim it.

Still licking your wounds from the Carter years? Man, you can really hold a grudge!

Jeez, you don't seem to realize you're one of the people who got the bill for Carter's incompetence. He repealed Regulation Q, a banking rule. By repealing it, he started the Savings & Loan Crisis that plagued banking till the first Bush was finally able to stop the carnage. Carter is also responsible for the Community Reinvestment Act, which culminated in the Financial Crisis of 2008-2009.

Hillary wants to pump up the number of muslims in America. The impact of that mistake is easy to predict, though Hillary supporters seem to suffer from the delusion, a traumatic brain injury that has led them to approve of the sharia goal of putting an end to Freedom of Speech and Freedom of Religion.

Clarkson FlatBed said...

I know about the Clinton marriage problem. I know that both of them made questionable choices to keep the Nation's nose out of their business. I also know that none of it ever would have made it to our attention if it hadn't been for overzealous witch hunting. Come to think of it, same thing happened with the emails. Who gives a shit? It would have been just as easy for foreign powers to hack State Dept websites. In fact, we have no assurances that ANYthing sent via email is safe. The rule should be, and should have been stressed to Clinton and every other lackey at State - don't send anything classified over email. She apologized. Move on.

Carter? I don't doubt your analysis. I doubt it's relevance to the campaign for President nearly 50 years on.

Anonymous said...

I also know that none of it ever would have made it to our attention if it hadn't been for overzealous witch hunting. Come to think of it, same thing happened with the emails. Who gives a shit?

Come on. Biographers are still getting mileage out of writing books about JFK's affairs. There's no witch hunt. There's only a deep interest in getting the true stories that reveal how much our political leaders have concealed.

Once again, like the Watergate scandal, it was the cover-up of the amateur break-in that sank Nixon. The break-in itself was nothing. Hillary's email issue is nothing. But it is a handy diversion from her true incompetence. The email story is taking attention away from her total and complete failure as Secretary of State.

Her early comments about the expected US successes in the middle east are now pathetic and tragic in hindsight. She refused to acknowledge obvious facts about the Islamic world then and she's doubling down on her willfulness now.

The "progressives" see American society as a corrupt, biased entity that must be remade according to principles that would please Marx and Engles. All that Equal Outcome nonsense. At the same time, muslims see American society as a corrupt, biased entity that must be remade according to the principles set down by Muhammad. Hence, we have an unholy alliance between progressives and muslims, both aiming to dismantle this economy and take away its global power. Of course, the progressives will be shocked by the fact that the muslims won't accept their vision of the future. But the conflagration, the conflict between those two ideologies would come later, after the fall.

Clarkson FlatBed said...

I think if you look at any Secretary of Defense or State, or President for that matter, you'll find enough poor choices to call them "incompetent." For all our Kissingers, and Rumsfelds and Cheneys and McNamara's and Haigs and Shultzes and Bakers and Rices...c'mon man, why not wake up to the fact is a tough job and you can't make the right call all the time. I'd rather it was someone with Democratic sensibilities.

And the Socialist nonsense if so absurd. There is absolutely nothing about the Democratic Party that could be misconstrued as Socialist or Communist. Just look who Wall Street is supporting in this election.

Anonymous said...

...if you look at any Secretary of Defense or State, or President for that matter, you'll find enough poor choices to call them "incompetent." For all our Kissingers, and Rumsfelds and Cheneys and McNamara's and Haigs and Shultzes and Bakers and Rices...

The difference between this administration -- Obama/Clinton and Obama/Kerry -- and most previous administrations is this: There were no major precipitating events directly involving the US during the Obama years.

Kennedy/Johnson got the US into Vietnam, with our SEATO obligations as some basis for claiming it was important for us step in and block the "Domino Theory" from turning into reality. That consumed 10 years worth of State Dept and Defense Dept leadership, and three presidencies, four if you want to consider Ford at the bitter end of Vietnam.

In 1990, Iraq invaded Kuwait, thereby creating global havoc in the oil markets -- serious punishment for every oil-consuming nation. An invasion undertaken after Saddam Hussein decided it was better to annex Kuwait than repay the $80 billion he borrowed to wage war against Iran -- which took a million lives and ended in a stalemate after eight years.

Reagan walked away from the first muslim suicide attack, which was a truck bomb detonated at the Marine Corps barracks in Beirut, Lebanon in October 1983. But he took a shot at Khaddafy after Khadaffy's bomber blew up Pan Am Flight 103 over Lockerbie Scotland. Reagan should have ordered the assassination of Khadaffy. Instead, Reagan only knocked off one or two members of Khadaffy's family.

Obama has a treasonous soft-spot in his heart for muslims and Islam.

As for Wall Street, be serious. Wall Street is loaded with smart people who are adept at working with rules and regulations that are reasonably clear. Hillary's views, even the subtext of those views, are clear. It's easy to side-step rules and regs when you know what they are. And you can be sure the Wizards of Wall Street understand Hillary far better than Hillary understands herself -- in the matter of financial rule-making.

That crackpot Liz Warren is the hectoring, shrill fishwife of the year who gets a gold star for chasing the least significant act of financial malfeasance to come up this year. Once again, ranting and raving about Wells Fargo and its nearly harmless acts of opening accounts for customers who weren't looking for accounts is a sensational attention-grabber. But the unauthorized sales behavior took virtually no money from customers. Nor was it intended to take money from customers. The hapless sales people were paid to open accounts. Open them, but nothing more.

But the shrieking Warren and that dumber-than-dirt Maxine Waters howled at CEO Stumpf like he was a double-dose of Bernie Madoff. Meanwhile, none of the shriekers were motivated to call for an investigation of the various solar companies that burned through hundreds of millions, if not billions of taxpayer dollars only to crash in bankruptcies that led to liquidations.

But Wall Street likes government investments and government guarantees for solar companies because the government role removes the risk of putting capital into the private sides of those businesses. So, yeah, it all boils down to understanding the nature of the opportunity, which Democrat voters obviously do not comprehend.

Government guarantees to protect against the failure of private enterprise is highly socialist/communist. You will learn more about the truth of this as China's "bank debt" erodes and has to be written off internally.

Clarkson FlatBed said...

and this, folks, is one of the "smart" ones.

Negative, nitpicking, pessimistic, unrealistic, defensive and callous. It's a political party that created its own problems with reckless policies and shrill name-calling.

You made your coalition - now you have to live with the consequences, til your party can regroup and reclaim the middle. Good riddance current GOP. May you turn your back on hatred and stop replaying the fights of yesterday.

The country will move forward, with or without your miserable attitude and outdated philosophies.

My favorite - Trump bemoaning regulation AND complaining about the current stock market and real estate bubble. Frankly, if the guy doesn't pay taxes, he shouldn't even have a right to the nomination. I can't imagine how you "make America great again" without Billionaires shouldering their responsibility.

The guy, and the party, is a sad, sick joke. And even sadder, folks like you who could contribute to the future, are stuck in the past.

Empty Snapple Bottle said...

@ Anonymous

Your talk of merit, liberty, responsibility, and reason has no place in Crown Heights and PLG.

All residents must serve the BORG collective and not show selfish individuality.

All hail the Working Families Party, big business wearing a progressive mask.
CAR FREE NYC! Saving the planet while allowing real estate interests to Manhattanize ethnic neighborhoods and overcrowd Brooklyn. If you don't travel with with UBER, you better travel with an empty Snapple bottle.

Local interests sold out by politicians who use race/religion loyalty to further their own careers.

Join CIVIC MINDED and pledge loyalty to Dianna ye clergy and townspeople.

Whatever happened to a town meeting serving the community without asking the community to work for your organization.

"Work Sets You Free."