Rumors, feeding frenzies, jokes that break hearts...so much static on the wires that the Q is getting dizzy from the noise.
First, a dose of a good old fashioned truth. I neglected to mention that at the "joint meeting" (false advertising by the way) at CB9 on Monday an elegant solution was proposed by DOT to the absurd and dangerous traffic darting in and out of the BP station on Flatbush...er, on Lincoln...er, on Lefferts...er, on Washington. Have you noticed how vehicles simply create their own entrance and egress? In order to take advantage of advantageous traffic lights, I've even seen people roll down the crosswalks right over curbs. A bunch of us, Alex E. and the fabulous Fanning Brothers in particular, have been making noise about it and DOT finally heard us. They're placing granite blocks at all the phantom exits and entrances to keep cars from creating their own driveways. They showed a picture but I didn't get a digital copy. Here's a picture of some granite blocks though:
They're granite, and in the shape of blocks. And I think it's safe to infer from the above picture that they grow on granite farms like the one pictured, probably in New Hampshire somewhere, which as we all know from grammar school as "The Granite State." Remember how they used to drill us on the nickname, the capital, and the "primary industry" and export of each state? How quaint. Industry. Exports.
For those of us who are parents of wee ones, nothing gets us more excited than talk of a new school cropping up in our mostly dismal District 17. New "progressive" school, that is, which basically means anything that's not the current local offerings of PS375 (Jackie Robinson) just north of Empire, PS92 on Parkside near Rogers, and PS249 (The Caton School) on Caton on the Parade Ground. Oddly, the two charter schools nearby often get neglected in playgroup and playground conversations - both Explore and Lefferts Gardens Charter School. There are reasons, I suppose, but I haven't the time or inclination to go into that right now. Anyhoo, some teachers from popular Ft. Greene charter school Community Roots are investigating starting a new school SOMEWHERE in one of three districts, maybe our own, and despite the fact that they are only in the exploration stage I've been hearing a nearly manic pounding of drums about it. Seems early to get too hot and bothered, but if they're looking for a place to put it I have the perfect solution:
ERASMUS. Yes, that most famous of high schools where Babs took geometry (Barbara Streisand, not our own beloved Babs. Hey Babs!)
Marty Markowitz and everyone with a memory talks about the glory days of this beautiful old building, but it currently houses some ho-hum specialty schools. But as long as they're fixing up the gorgeous original wooden school inside the courtyard, why not turn it, or some other part of the building, into the next generation awesome grammar school? A school that can grow into the building, year by year, while letting the less successful high schools phase out? Dang I missed my true calling - Schools Chancellor. Oh, if it were up to the Q, there'd be some changes around here!!!
And then there's the new coffee place - Tugboat. You'd think someone parked a truck on the Flabenue and started handing out hundred dollar bills, the way people have responded! It's pretty great, but it's a modest place suited to its location, and I hope the flack over porcelain was short lived. If that reference doesn't ring a bell, take a peek through the comments from a few posts back.
But taking the cake for most out-of-the-park hysterical/sad is the fake Yelp review about a particularly distinguished restaurant called Maison Fong at Lincoln and Ocean, which anyone will tell you is home to an apartment building and a sweet but undistinguished deli that Lil' Miss Q calls The Chips Store, since that's about all we ever buy there. I'm not proud, but chips are a food group in Paraguay, or someplace, and besides...they taste really really good. Especially le Doodles de Dipsy, which I'm pretty sure are locally sourced and organical French concoctions made by hand and rolled in fresh pressed extra virgin from Corsica.
I know we all want a nice little place to seat our tuchisses and kvetch and nosh. But oy vey, the mishegas of it all! So much kibbitzing over such bissel.
We all probably need a good night's sleep and some deep breaths.
The Q at Parkside
News and Nonsense from the Brooklyn neighborhood of Lefferts and environs, or more specifically a neighborhood once known as Melrose Park. Sometimes called Lefferts Gardens. Or Prospect-Lefferts Gardens. Or PLG. Or North Flatbush. Or Caledonia (west of Ocean). Or West Pigtown. Across From Park Slope. Under Crown Heights. Near Drummer's Grove. The Side of the Park With the McDonalds. Jackie Robinson Town. Home of Lefferts Manor. West Wingate. Near Kings County Hospital. Or if you're coming from the airport in taxi, maybe just Flatbush is best.