Staring each other down across the Flabenue they wait, crouched and ready to pounce on your smoothie thirst, blender at the ready. B'Fruitee and Purpleberry are all about the remarkably durable smoothie creation, a confection that has been popular since the last Ice Age, when Cavemen would typically crush elderberries by placing them between check and gum, much like chewing tobacco, then spit them into frozen holes dug from the ice in the shape of mammoth tusks. 15 minutes later, Thorg would scoop out the slush and serve it to the family - this was one of his three masculine contributions to the preparation of food for the ice-cave family. The others were waffles and home-made fudge, but only weekends or holidays. Some of those cave-holidays exist to this day, though their date and significance remain a secret to all but a few direct descendents.
The Q has tried each spot, and my nod goes to Purpleberry - I liked the raw-sugar ratio, and the other offerings I spied. But B'Fruitee was good too, so feel free to weigh in here.
And believe it or not, the Q has a fresh smoothie story to share with you. On one of my many post-surgery trips to the Eye and Ear Infirmary on 14th Street, I took the double-long 14th Street bus to my destination from the subway. This particular day, last Tuesday, there was but a single seat remaining near the very back. I was feeling blind and lazy, so I headed for it. There was just one woman standing, her fists clenched not one but two cold beverages with straws. I smiled, and proceeded to spin and sit, a move I've perfected using the guard rails to swivel into an MTA seat with balletic grace. Halfway down, with gravity in command, I heard someone blurt out "nooooooooooooooo," but my "load" was nearly fully "taken off" and I landed fully and expressly into a giant puddle of Jamba Juice.
I knew the name of the offending beverage by the perky logos on the standing-lady's plastic cups, one of which was nearly empty. Not being one to carry a roll of paper towels or even an extra set of dungarees, I decided to blurt out "just one of those days I guess" and, feeling humiliated and angry that the Jamba lady hadn't warned me about her mishap, I stepped off the M14 onto the curb, slunk into the hospital and headed for the bathroom, where I returned again and again to spend a goodly amount of time with my buttocks backed up to the automatic hand-dryer.
I believe someone owes the Q a free smoothie?
The Q at Parkside
News and Nonsense from the Brooklyn neighborhood of Lefferts and environs, or more specifically a neighborhood once known as Melrose Park. Sometimes called Lefferts Gardens. Or Prospect-Lefferts Gardens. Or PLG. Or North Flatbush. Or Caledonia (west of Ocean). Or West Pigtown. Across From Park Slope. Under Crown Heights. Near Drummer's Grove. The Side of the Park With the McDonalds. Jackie Robinson Town. Home of Lefferts Manor. West Wingate. Near Kings County Hospital. Or if you're coming from the airport in taxi, maybe just Flatbush is best.