Since Mrs. Q and I moved to Clarkson 10 years ago we've battled now and again with our hulking neighbors 35 Clarkson over any number of things, from people throwing garbage out their windows to drugs and drunken fights. It's not been horrible day in and day out, and there are plenty of fine folks in the building, but it's been enough of a pain that I've made an attempt to bond with the owner and managing agent, and over the last year we identified the gang members in a particular apartment and have been working with them and the 71st and the block association to get them out. Finally, with the help of cameras and a number of arrests, the owners were able to evict the family in question. It was obvious to anyone on the block what was going on. Junkies would scream up at 5 in the morning (not cool, guys...you're blowing their cover! even dealers need sleep!) Our dealers attracted other thugs, so it was kinda Thug Central Station for awhile. The building across the street installed bright lighting, which forced us all to get better curtains, cuz you could have played major league baseball in our bedroom at night. Where am I going with this? (By the way our bedroom isn't big enough to play baseball. I was referring to the light. You might be able to play a cramped badminton on a rainy day, but it wouldn't be much fun given the lamps. Badminton is another one of those words I always have to look up. Maybe if I started pronouncing it correctly that would help. You know, with the 'n' in it. Of course, I rarely have use for the word, so maybe it's not worth the effort, any more than it's worth writing this sentence. Sorry for the inconvenience. Have a nice day!)
Oh yes. A few months ago, the managing agent John tells me they're going to convert to condo. I laughed "Yeah, right. Are they giving mortgages to crackheads now? You think it's still early 2007? Gimme a break Johnny boy!!!" That's why they wanted the worst offenders out. I'd noticed that some apartments were staying vacant longer than you'd imagine being profitable. (I've since learned this is called "warehousing," an unscrupulous practice that allows the owner to sell more units when the building gets approved for conversion). They've been doing work on the building non-stop for the past year and now...ladies and gentlemen. THIS is what they're selling:
DNA Info, ALL 14 of the listed condo apartments were snatched up in ONE night. With backup buyers, and at listed rates between $200K and $400K. Dougie Elliman is showing the goods.
So basically I've known this place as a bit of a problem, the sort of place when they do work on the plumbing rats end up in our yard. The place where, when I started trying to turn our backyard mud pit into a garden, and we can see the west facing apartment windows, a guy would stick his ying-yang out the window and let his yellow mother nature fly on a regular basis. And one time I just got so fed up I looked up and yelled "you stick that thing out the window one more time I'm gonna shoot it off with my shotgun!" He never did it again. Never mind I don't have a shotgun and I don't know how to shoot. Then there was the time kids were throwing eggs on me from the roof, and I ran through my house and into 35 (the door was never locked) and charged up the stairs and heard doors shutting behind them and I yelled "you kids better cut it out. You don't want to mess with a crazy retired COP!!" Honestly, I don't know where the words came from, but I'm pretty sure word got around because people pretty much leave me alone.
And now this is how they're trying to market that very same "lobby":
and "interior garden":
Look. It doesn't need any commentary from me. The pictures say it all.
The Q at Parkside
News and Nonsense from the Brooklyn neighborhood of Lefferts and environs, or more specifically a neighborhood once known as Melrose Park. Sometimes called Lefferts Gardens. Or Prospect-Lefferts Gardens. Or PLG. Or North Flatbush. Or Caledonia (west of Ocean). Or West Pigtown. Across From Park Slope. Under Crown Heights. Near Drummer's Grove. The Side of the Park With the McDonalds. Jackie Robinson Town. Home of Lefferts Manor. West Wingate. Near Kings County Hospital. Or if you're coming from the airport in taxi, maybe just Flatbush is best.