The Q at Parkside

(for those for whom the Parkside Q is their hometrain)

News and Nonsense from the Brooklyn neighborhood of Lefferts and environs, or more specifically a neighborhood once known as Melrose Park. Sometimes called Lefferts Gardens. Or Prospect-Lefferts Gardens. Or PLG. Or North Flatbush. Or Caledonia (west of Ocean). Or West Pigtown. Across From Park Slope. Under Crown Heights. Near Drummer's Grove. The Side of the Park With the McDonalds. Jackie Robinson Town. Home of Lefferts Manor. West Wingate. Near Kings County Hospital. Or if you're coming from the airport in taxi, maybe just Flatbush is best.

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Pssst...Sipping Shop Snatches Sassy Scissors Spot, Starts Soon

Sassy Scissors is becoming a coffee place, so says a reliable source who's spoken to the new lease-owner. The entrepreneur, so we're told, is an emigre from Italy by way of Williamsburg, so something tells the Q this won't be HoJo's bottomless pot.

Italians are EXTREMELY picky and proud of their coffee, espresso in particular. Italians also like to dress well. Italians also do not like to form or stand in lines, while Germans are known to create them or stand in them when there is no compelling reason to do so. Italians are more likely to arrive late for your meeting than is a German. Italians are sloppier kissers though. These are facts, noted by many a European traveler. The Italians made possible a pair of men's shoes that costs nearly $2,000. They are made by A. Testoni and they look like this:

I don't think it's a coinkydink that men would be drawn to a name like Testoni in order to fly their ped-plumage picking up paramours (of either sex mind you). If, however, you like your testosterone more homegrown, you may want to wait for the new coffee shop to open. Be careful however not to overdo it, since once the extra-strong Italian espresso hits your brain you may find yourself making poor choices, and you may end up wandering into your kitchen bleary-eyed one morning to find this fellow awaiting you after a night of impulsive decision-making:

Remember, however, that it was a stone-cold sober you that chose the distinctive cabinetry. And Frank's not so bad after you get to know him. Not for nothing, he really knows his way around a tool shed!


Anonymous said...

As an Italian named Frank, my Irish wife can certainly attest to most of those stereotypes. However you left out the vino and grappa.

-Frankie the Yankee

Anonymous said...

any more details on the coffee place? when's it supposed to open?

Anonymous said...

Hey, Q! Have any more of that acid?

Clarkson FlatBed said...

Mom? What are you doing up at this hour?

Clarkson FlatBed said...

Listen you...try writing an "interesting" blog post about the opening of a coffee shop. I dare you.

Over the last couple years I've found that readership spikes whenever I write about new businesses. So why not spike the punch?

Truth be told I only started this blog to give me license to write on a regular basis. It was never my attention to stick close to home - literally. Every time someone suggests that I'm a journalist, it gives me dork shivers. If I'M a journalist, then God help the Fourth Estate.

By the way, the coffee shop is really happening. Frank is not really happening, if you know what I mean.

kimplicated said...

Keep up the whimsy, Q. Such silliness shines sundry smiles in seriously somber spaces. And Frank ain't half bad, either.

Newbie to PLG said...

I totally appreciate this blog! My husband and I just bought a co-op and we are learning everything we can about the neighborhood. And this blog is so well-researched and informative. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

sorry Q, I think that last comment means you're a journalist. Please keep it up. Welcome to the Dork Klub.