The Q at Parkside

(for those for whom the Parkside Q is their hometrain)

News and Nonsense from the Brooklyn neighborhood of Lefferts and environs, or more specifically a neighborhood once known as Melrose Park. Sometimes called Lefferts Gardens. Or Prospect-Lefferts Gardens. Or PLG. Or North Flatbush. Or Caledonia (west of Ocean). Or West Pigtown. Across From Park Slope. Under Crown Heights. Near Drummer's Grove. The Side of the Park With the McDonalds. Jackie Robinson Town. Home of Lefferts Manor. West Wingate. Near Kings County Hospital. Or if you're coming from the airport in taxi, maybe just Flatbush is best.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

McDonald's Closed for Renovation

The iconic McDonalds at Parkside and Ocean is undergoing a transformation that will keep it boarded up for at least two months. The Q called corporate to see what gives, and we were sent an electronic press kit that lays out their ambitious plans to totally remake the restaurant chain's image. Oblivious to the waning interest in the space program and all things space, McDonalds has plans to modernize its entire image in astronautic terms to make a bid for its place in the 21st Century. A three year $50 million rebranding study by marketing giants Wachs, Wayne & Gibbous determined that the logo and arches should remain untouched, though they've decided to revert back to the original spelling of the brand WITHOUT the apostrophe. As for the interior, expect something that looks more like this in the newly designated first class section:

with the new "coach" area looking more space age arcade:

The food will get a makeover too, though the taste and "mouthfeel" will remain unchanged. Trays of everything from fries to quarter-pounders and apple pies will now look more like an astronaut's buffet:

Perhaps most surprising of all however will be the in-person appearance of the new, sadder, tattooed but infinitely more thespian Ronald McDonald at all franchises.

Plans for a green roof and outdoor cafe seating have been somehow misplaced and are unlikely to make it into the final project. Look for an opening just in time for Xmas stocking stuffers.


The Snob said...

Just got the "Wachs, Wayne and Gibbous." Well done.

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